Chapter I - INTRODUCTION
Finding a True Vocation
When we are children, people say to us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" At that
age, we usually have dreams. We know that we want to reach the Moon, or learn to fly the
fastest aircraft in the world, or save endangered animal species, or make some brilliant
scientific discovery that will transform human lives. We are not yet old enough to worry about
job markets and balancing budgets and supporting ourselves and our families. We have only
our dreams and the secret certainty that we are unique and have a very special thing to do in
life. Even if our parents have different dreams for us, we know the difference between their
dreams and our own. When we are children, we are still capable of hearing the voice of the
soul.
As we grow older, the questions change. People say to us, "You had better start thinking about
what you want to do with your life. How will you make a living?" There is no longer time for
dreaming; we must now "face reality" and think about how to survive in the big, bad old world.
The inner sense of specialness fades before the numbing evidence of high unemployment figures,
stiff competition for every job application, and economic swings and downturns which make us
feel we are fortunate to get any kind of work at all. And if we find ourselves discontented in that
work, or we lose our jobs, we feel demeaned, devalued, and unable to trust our deepest dreams
and aspirations, because there might not be any other work. And even if there were, we have
probably long since lost that inner connection which could tell us what makes our heart sing and
restores the sense of having a very special thing to do in life.
This astrological report is about your vocation. It is meant to help you get a sense of what you
might be good at and what might be good for you, so that your working life has a meaning as well
as a pay cheque. If you are looking for a direction, astrology could help you to find it; if you
already have one, astrology could help you confirm and perhaps enhance it. The English word
"vocation" comes from a Latin root which means "to call". Having a calling implies something
higher or deeper - an inner Self or soul which knows what we are really here for. Today we use the
word "vocation" mainly in relation to those who feel a religious calling. The challenges and
problems of the changing world, with its rapid and unsettling advances in technology and its
shifting political and economic currents, have frightened us and turned our minds away from the
inner importance of what we do in life. Yet so many people feel directionless or are unhappy in
their work, even if they are well paid for it. Few of us possess the luxury of inherited wealth; most
of us must make our own way in the world. Work, no less than relationship, lies at the core of our
lives and occupies most of our waking hours. Yet we may be unable to think from the centre
outward - to focus first on who we are and what inspires us, and then seek vehicles for this in the
outer world. Instead, we think from the outside in, focusing on what others, or our own hidden
insecurities, tell us is possible. We are not brought up to know and trust ourselves and our
abilities, but rather, to know only the limits of external reality. And then we hammer ourselves
into shape to fit them.
Because every birth horoscope is unique, astrology teaches us that each individual has a unique
nature and a unique set of abilities. While a horoscope cannot tell us which company will offer us
a job, or how much we can expect to be paid, it can help us to understand that, if we wish to feel
our lives matter, we need to express in the outer world at least some of who we are in the inner
one. No job is perfect; we must all compromise. What matters is that what we do connects us to
something special inside, something that makes us feel worthwhile and impels us to offer our best
to life. The insights of astrology are not literal and specific. They are symbolic and psychological,
and tell us about spheres of life which inspire us, needs which nourish our souls, and personal
limits which mark the boundaries of what we are capable of achieving in one lifetime. We cannot
become other than what we are, and no human being contains all possibilities. We are all good at
different things. The right mix of realism and faith in ourselves can ensure that we feel our
passage through life has been worth the effort.
To make the best use of the astrological insights offered by this report, it is important to remember
three things. First, a sound understanding of one's needs, potentials, and limits is far more
important than the facts and figures presented to us by the outer world. It is not that facts and
figures do not matter. But even if there is only one job available and four hundred applicants
seeking it, we possess more power than we realise to create our own reality. If that job is truly right
for us, and we are prepared to do the necessary preparation and training, we will achieve it -
somewhere, some time, somehow. Second, we must not be afraid to try. Trying and failing and
trying again are far better than not trying at all, for we can learn from our failures even more than
we learn from our success. Understanding why we might unconsciously court failure or fail to
seize opportunities may also be important. Many people are dogged not by lack of ability, but by a
deep unconscious conviction that they do not deserve to be fulfilled. Understanding ourselves
more deeply can help us to distinguish between real limits and unnecessary self-sabotage. Third, a
birth chart cannot, of its own volition, create our opportunities for us, any more than a road map
can make us take a journey. A birth horoscope can show us a direction and encourage us to
make manifest our highest values and most cherished dreams. But each individual must make
the decision to set off down the road. If we refuse through fear or cynicism, and remain sitting on
the doorstep yearning for what might have been, we cannot blame either astrology or the world for
our discontent.
Chapter II
How You See the World
Each of us sees the world differently, and feels strong and
competent in some areas and uncertain or ill-equipped in
others. No person is perfectly adapted to every sphere of life.
Finding the right direction may depend partly on your knowing
how you evaluate and adapt to life, and finding an outer
situation which matches your fundamental outlook. Of course it
is not as simple as just looking for a place where you can
exercise what you believe to be your strengths and avoid what
you perceive as your weaknesses. Sometimes, working to
develop sides of your personality where you feel unsure can
generate the greatest feeling of accomplishment. But it does
help if your perspective on life is in harmony with what you do,
and you can therefore feel confident and able to meet the
challenges which your work offers. It can also make a difference
if you are able to remain loyal to your values and needs, rather
than accepting a situation where you believe neither in what
you are doing nor in the people you work with.
Share your ideals with others in a team effort
You care deeply about people and their welfare. Although you
may not enjoy too intense an emotional climate around you in
the workplace, you need to feel you are furthering human
evolution in some way, either through the promulgation of
knowledge or the improvement of society. You may be a
political animal, deeply committed to a particular vision of how
the world could and should be. Involvement in social or
humanitarian concerns could prove very rewarding, even if such
an involvement is not financially remunerative. If you are
required to work at something which does not inspire your
ideals, you are likely to find yourself working on behalf of your
colleagues, addressing issues of unfairness or inequality in your
place of work. You cannot avoid your need to improve the
world around you according to your strongly felt ideals.
Therefore, it might be best if you pursue work which allows you
to make a substantial contribution - in political or social work,
in science, in psychology or alternative healing, or in some area
of the arts where you can promulgate your message. You have a
reformer's spirit which cannot be stifled by "reality" as others
define it.
You have a very special ability to understand the dynamics of
the group. On the personal level, this makes you a sociable and
tolerant person who can relate to many different kinds of
people. On the professional level, it reflects a rare gift for
meeting people on their own ground, with the concomitant
ability to speak a common language and understand varying sets
of needs and demands. This is the real gift of the politician,
although sadly, few politicians possess it. It is more often found
in other spheres, where individuals with disparate personalities
need to work together and someone is required who can help
them to understand each other. You might excel at leading
groups or acting as intermediary or diplomat. You might also be
excellent at running committees and organising others'
programmes. You have a clear and logical mind which is not
easily distracted by surface problems. This could reflect a gift in
research and experimental technology. Perhaps most
importantly, you love truth, and love to offer others what you
believe to be the truth. You have a democratic spirit and a
genuine love of order and harmony. Although you may
sometimes fail to recognise human emotional limits, you are
not impractical, and can accept situations where the ideal might
not be possible. If you believe you have a message for others,
then work to develop the talents through which you can offer it
well and successfully.
Chapter III
Your aptitudes and strengths
An honest and realistic understanding of your fundamental
strengths can help you to orientate yourself in the world and put
your energy into areas where you can hope to shine and achieve
at least many of your most cherished goals. Recognising basic
issues such as the capacity and desire to handle responsibility,
or the need for stability and security, or the craving for constant
new challenges, can affect your decisions and help you to avoid
wasting your abilities in spheres where you are not likely to be
happy or at home. This does NOT mean that, if this report
seems contradictory to what you are presently doing, you should
abruptly throw aside everything you have built so far. If, for
example, new challenges and a degree of independence are
important for you in your work according to your astrological
profile, you should not immediately abandon a steady job and
charge off into the blue pursuing an unrealistic dream. Further
training may be necessary, and your domestic responsibilities
must also be considered in relation to what is possible at any
given time in your life. But a personality which fundamentally
requires an independent creative platform from which to work
means that you might need to consider new possibilities within
the framework of your present circumstances, or work on a
long-term plan through which you can gradually achieve the
autonomy you need. The secret of real success - the kind which
is rooted in an inner feeling of a worthwhile life - is to first
accept who you are, believe in it, and stop trying to model
yourself on somebody else. Then aim to shape your outer life in
as many ways as are realistically possible in order to provide the
right working vehicle for your true nature and values.
A poet's vision needs work that touches the heart
You could never happily devote yourself to any work purely for
financial gain, for your deepest loyalties are given to an inner
vision. You need to seek a vocational path which allows you to
express that vision. This might cover a wide range of
possibilities - from living the artist's life, with all its special
difficulties and challenges, to working in those areas where
artistic gifts are combined with more market-orientated work
such as advertising or web design. Which end of this range
might best suit you depends a great deal on how powerful and
uncompromising the vision is which drives you. But whether you
work in the world or apart from it, the core of your working life
needs to be the poet's vision which inspires you and which, for
you, is the true reality. Your heart and imagination must be
touched, and you need to know that you are connected with a
higher, deeper, more meaningful level of existence. That does
not preclude material success; but such success should be the
by-product rather than the primary source of your efforts. Your
real field of work is the imagination; and whether you express it
in obviously creative ways such as writing, painting, or theatre,
or in the helping professions through depth psychotherapy and
dream-work, you would never be able to bear for long a field of
endeavour where your imagination is not engaged.
It may also be helpful to remember that an artist's
temperament and motivation are not necessarily accompanied
by actual skill in draughtsmanship or fiction-writing, or actual
talent at playing a musical instrument. If you do possess a
genuine talent for working with images, music, or words, then it
is important for you to develop that talent with as much
intensity and effort as possible, so that you can carve out a
professional path which allows you to express the imaginative
wealth within you. But if you do not possess the literal manual
or verbal gifts, this does not diminish the importance of your
creative imagination and the necessity to include it in your
work. A business or consultancy can be a creative product
rather than a pragmatic construction; a school or training group
can equally be the result of imaginative inspiration; and there
are many other spheres which might not be conventionally
defined as artistic work but which are, on the most profound
level, the children of the inner creative world. Try not to allow
the usual definitions of creative work to undermine your faith in
yourself. You possess the ability to recognise and interpret the
symbolic dimension of life, and to perceive external reality as
the embodiment or reflection of profound inner patterns and
images. This mode of perception is a special gift, although it
may have sometimes felt more like a handicap if you grew up
within a conventional educational framework. But it is a great
asset, not a psychological aberration or indication of some kind
of social "maladjustment". Material security is as relevant to you
as it is to anyone, but you need to choose your vocation from
the inside out, as it were, and not from the outside in. In other
words, your work needs to be firmly rooted in what makes your
heart and soul sing, not in how large the salary cheque is. Art
school, music school, or drama school might provide you with
suitable training if you are unsure of your skills, even if you do
not wish to produce "pure" art. A quality education, plus
extensive reading, might help you to gain confidence in the use
of language. Whatever you need to do to hone and refine your
abilities, don't abandon your loyalty to that inner realm which
you know to be the true underpinning of life.
The need to communicate the imaginative world
You tend to suffer from a kind of "divine discontent", whatever
work you do, because you have a powerful connection with
subtler levels of reality that are not usually acknowledged in
ordinary life. Your sense of being part of a larger unity is very
deep and insistent, even if you have not formulated the sense of
connection that you feel. This may have caused you problems in
the past, because if you have tried to pursue the ordinary cut-
and-thrust business of making it in the world, you may have
been baffled by your lack of commitment and your tendency to
retreat into a fantasy-world of your own. Yet you are neither
lazy nor uncommitted. It is just that your focus needs to be on
the inner world rather than the outer. You need a creative
vehicle through which you can communicate the world of the
imagination and convey the feelings and images which flow so
freely within you. It is important that you have such a vehicle
even if you cannot yet make this a part of your everyday
working life. But ideally you should aim for some sphere of the
arts, or some area of humanitarian or healing work, where you
know you are participating in a greater human unity and can
experience the fulfilment that comes from identifying with and
giving expression to the emotional longings and dreams of the
larger collective.
There is a devotional quality in your nature that needs to be
included in your work. You long to feel that, in however humble
or indirect a fashion, you are serving something deeper or
higher. You would rapidly become depressed and unhappy if
you have to work in a sphere where you are unable to make
such a commitment. The arts, of course, can offer a place for
your need to devote yourself to a mystery; and hybrid spheres
such as art therapy, music therapy, and certain kinds of
imaginative teaching and healing might also provide a vehicle
for your strong desire to be "taken out of" yourself. Spiritual
ideals may provide the backbone for your everyday work
efforts, although these may not necessarily be understood by
you in conventionally religious language. But you have a deep
craving to lose yourself in giving yourself to something greater.
This is why the arts are so suitable, especially if you are able to
work with others in an environment such as an orchestra, a
band, or a theatre or film company. The experience of merging
with a group which is dedicated to the same expression you are
could be the most rewarding thing you could do with your
talents and energy. Rather than drifting, try to train whatever
creative skills you might possess. You may not be suited to the
"pure" artist's life, but you need to participate in some area,
however peripheral, which can allow you to enter, express, and
immerse yourself in the imaginative world.
The talent of the storyteller
External events are not random occurrences to you, but rather,
like beads on a string, parts of an ongoing story. Your
perception of life is subtle and linked with an imaginative
interpretation of events and people as characters in a grand
drama; and this storytelling talent could equip you to work as a
creative writer. It might also prove immensely valuable if you
work with others, for you perceive their experiences as
interconnecting parts of a story, and can glimpse meaning in
whatever they go through. You have a feeling for the symbolic
level of life, and rarely take anything just as it is. There are
always nuances, hidden implications, and subtle undercurrents
which are as visible to you as concrete objects are to other
people. Your fine imagination might prove a problem if you are
required to deal with facts all day; you would probably be
unhappy working as an accountant or bookkeeper. But it is an
enormous asset if you do any sort of creative work. In the
sciences, too, this kind of intuition is invaluable if you work in
any experimental field, or in an area such as physics or
computer science, where intuitive models are required rather
than fixed and inalterable facts and formulae. If you are not of a
literally artistic bent, you might find that you have an
exceptional gift in spheres such as higher mathematics and
other fields of creative science.
What is most important about this special aptitude is your
particular mode of perception. Nothing stands alone in your
inner and outer field of vision; everything is interconnected in
subtle ways, and everything is part of a larger unity. This kind of
intuitive thinking, rather than mechanical skills, is the true
vision of the artist; and even if you do not possess the requisite
mechanical skills to paint beautiful pictures or play an
instrument well, you are a natural storyteller with a naturally
holistic vision of life. You need to work in a sphere where this
gift is welcomed and utilised. Because you often think in
pictures rather than conceptually, you may have had your share
of problems at school in early life. But academic thinking has
never been your strong point. If you did well at school, it was
probably due to your intuitive grasp of the whole picture and
your ability to visualise and memorise. If you are considering
further education, make sure you pursue subjects which
encourage this way of thinking, for you can easily feel
undermined if you are required to prove your competence
through conventional examinations. Your intuitive insights into
human behaviour could serve you well in either the arts or the
helping professions; and it could also be extended, if you are so
inclined, to more extraverted spheres such as marketing
research. You might also make an excellent detective, although
it is likely that the context of such work on the literal level
would fail to inspire your imagination. You might do better
writing a novel dealing with such subjects, or a film script or a
play. Take your storytelling gift seriously. You need a work
outlet through which it can be expressed and rewarded.
Receptivity to beauty
You are a dyed-in-the-wool romantic, with a vision of love
which emerges straight from the world's great poetry and
drama. The mundane dimension of relationship is not likely to
enthuse you greatly, for you fear the death of your romantic
vision at the hands of the trivia of everyday life. This propensity
for mythologising love may cause certain problems in your
personal life, unless you can tap some of its power and magic to
channel into your work. Thus it is important that you can find a
sphere of work where you can express your heartfelt vision in
creative form. This is not "sublimation" of personal needs and
drives, but a transformation of personal experience into forms
which are larger than your personal life and allow you to feel
you are part of a greater unity. What you seek in love is also
what you seek for your life's meaning; and this is something
beyond inter-personal exchange. It is, fundamentally, a mystical
vision, although you might not call it by that name. The work
you do needs to provide a vehicle through which you can feel
connected to the greater life of the cosmos, and this places an
emphasis on developing creative or imaginative vehicles
through which you can express yourself. Although anything you
produce is likely to always fall short of your vision of perfection,
nevertheless even the compromise which is inevitable in
creative work would go a long way to provide substance for your
dreams and a sense that you are contributing a little of your
vision of perfection to the ordinary everyday world.
Poetry, music, drama, and fiction are some of the possible
channels through which you can embody your dreams. You tend
to see the people you are close to as more than mere mortals,
and those who touch you deeply are catalysts for the invocation
of your inner vision. Your life's experience is the perfect fodder
for the creative mills of your imagination, because what is
personal to you is also applicable to many people because of
your ability to tap a universal level of human feeling and
longing. Even if you cannot find a way to generate sufficient
financial rewards from such work, and must do something else
to buy the bread and meat, it is essential that you have time to
pursue your creative work. Even better, you might seek work
within an organisation or institution which fosters one of the
creative fields - or, best of all, you might try to get your creative
work acknowledged and make your inner vocation your outer
work as well. You need to be very realistic about the degree of
talent you possess, and also brutally objective about the
marketability of that talent. Sometimes even considerable gifts
are out of step with the times, and might not be recognised - not
because they are insufficient, but because popular taste is
running in a different direction. It is possible that you might
make a success in the arts, but it is equally possible that you
might not. For the sake of your soul, this does not really matter,
as long as you cherish the inner vision and find time and space
in your life to give it form. Material success would be a bonus,
and not the goal toward which you need to aim.
The daimon of creative vision outweighs material needs
More than most people, you need a true vocation rather than a
job. And your vocation needs to be rooted in your creative
vision. The Greek philosopher Socrates described the inner
impetus of his destiny as his "daimon", and for you to feel
fulfilled in work you need to know that you are moving in
accord with your own "daimon", your own inner sense of
destiny. There is a deeply devotional quality in you that needs
to be expressed through a specific sphere of work; but its real
nature is a need to serve some deeper inner reality. You are too
intense to feel comfortable devoting your energies and efforts
to a company or institution that deals in banalities. Whether or
not you think in spiritual terms, your heart and soul need to be
engaged in work which serves something numinous - in however
humble a capacity in the outer world's terms. The artist and the
priest have always served similar functions, for both work to
build bridges between the inner world and the outer. Even if
your work is not "artistic" in the usual sense, it needs to be
creative and serve the inner world. An inspired chef, publisher,
web designer, or educator can do this as authentically as an
inspired painter or composer. Everything depends on where
your loyalty is really given. Try to focus on what inspires you
from within, and seek to understand its nature as best you can.
This could help you to formulate what you need to express to
the outer world; and it will be your best guide in terms of which
sphere of endeavour is most suitable for your considerable
imaginative gifts.
Additional aptitudes and strengths
Although these are your main strength, there are other qualities
which you can build on as you consider the best ways to utilise
your energy and talents. These may not be as dominant in your
nature, but they are important nevertheless and need to be
considered in any assessment of your work situation. An
astrological chart, from the perspective of vocation, presents us
with an essential character pattern; and the "ideal" sphere of
work is one in which as many of one's essential character
qualities as possible can be given an avenue of expression.
There is no perfect job for anyone, just as there is no perfect
world. But these important characteristics need room in your
life, somewhere, somehow, to be honoured and offered some
vehicle through which it can live.
Don't fence yourself in
You have a side of your nature which is restless, imaginative,
and in need of constant new possibilities. This could make any
work sometimes seem like a kind of provisional "try-on" which
is a prelude to "the real thing". You may sometimes feel as
though you are waiting for the time when your real potential
can be unleashed. If this side of you is ignored, it will make its
presence known through unconscious sabotage, and you may
start projects which are left unfinished. Your ability to generate
an endless stream of new ideas makes you an original thinker
and innovator. Restrictive routines may, after a time, leave you
feeling depressed and unhappy. Your boredom threshold can
sometimes be a little low, and you may need to sink your teeth
into projects that don't take huge amounts of time to finish, or
that continue to provide creative stimulation. The fields of
advertising and design, travel and creative writing, media and
new technology, are all spheres where you could indulge your
questing spirit; work with human potential, whether in business
or in the helping professions, could also provide you with the
inspiration you seek. You are not likely to spend thirty years
compiling the definitive dictionary; but you might be able to
write a play, a film script, a short novel, or an article or essay
for a newspaper or a magazine. You have a youthful spirit
which will probably keep you working long past the traditional
retirement age; but it is not likely that what you do at sixty-five
will be what you did at twenty. Aim for independence in your
working life, or a position where you are given plenty of
freedom. Don't fence yourself in.
Keep the doors open for new projects and challenges
You are perfectly capable of commitment and hard work. But
you need to recognise and honour your essential restlessness
and craving for new challenges and projects which stimulate
your mind and imagination. This is an essential requirement if
you are to find a true vocation rather than a frustrating job
which pays the mortgage but stifles your spirit. You may have to
work extra hard to cultivate enough discipline to get you
through the times when perspiration rather than inspiration is
the only way to complete what you have begun. But if you are
willing to accept this fact of life, you should not betray your
questing spirit or your wish to find a broader meaning in life
and in the work you do. You have a fine creative imagination
and a lively and hungry mind, and both need to be utilised in
your work. Playing with and expressing new ideas are more
important to you than steady work which pays well but makes
you feel as though your soul has been given an anaesthetic.
Your work needs to be creative, or at the least, involved with
creative people; and you need to have a broader, deeper or
higher philosophy or world-view which forms the backdrop for
your everyday efforts. What you do must mean something in the
grand scheme of things. Delusions of grandeur would not be
very helpful, but a firm belief in your imaginative and
intellectual gifts is essential. Be prepared to go through the hard
flog of a good training and education, and you will be able to
find the wings to fly.
Chapter IV
Know Your Limits
Recognising your innate limitations can help you to focus your
energy in the right direction and get the maximum fulfilment
from your work. All human beings have limitations, and these
need to be seen, not as "faults" or "failings", but as the inevitable
result of having strengths in other areas. No individual has
everything. Being able to understand those areas where
essential character qualities might restrict your capacity to
engage in or enjoy a particular kind of work, is part of the
building of self-understanding and self-confidence. Sometimes
we have to try and then fail before we are able to recognise that
we are undeveloped, unsuited, or simply uninterested in a
particular sphere of life. Pressure from family and peer group
may push us into attempting to become what we are not, and
much time and energy may be wasted in attempting to fulfil
someone else's expectations when we know we are not
comfortable in that particular kind of work. It is important to
recognise that limits do not signify any irrevocable flaw in
character. Working hard on an area of limitation may, in fact,
produce great confidence born out of hard effort, and
sometimes real talent may be discovered beneath the surface of
what appears to be a block or difficulty. It is up to you to
discern whether a character limitation needs to be worked on,
or compassionately accepted, or both.
Acknowledge the importance of the outer world
Your chief limitation in terms of your work arises from your
greatest strength: your intense loyalty to an inner vision which
you are impelled to express to the outside world. In order to
feel fulfilled, you need to be creative, and you need to put into
form those truths, images and dreams which reflect your
deepest values. You could never be happy selling your soul in
order to make a living; and even though you might be able to
find creative vehicles in spheres which allow some compromise
between your vision of reality and the needs of the collective,
nevertheless the compromise must be minimal and not threaten
what you hold as Truth. The difficulty arises from how you
understand that word "compromise", for self-expression always
requires the use of language - verbal, pictorial, auditory,
symbolic - and you have to be willing to be fluent in more than
your own special language in order to be understood. It is the
content rather than the precise form which must not be
compromised; yet you sometimes feel as though any concession
to the "Great They" is a sacrifice of your inner integrity. As a
result, you may often meet with bafflement or even outright
rejection from those who cannot understand you, and this can
make you feel isolated and hurt. And it could make it hard for
you to find the right balance between your creative work and
the material stability, however minimal, which you, in common
with other humans, need. The outer world is not the enemy; it is
made up of individual humans like yourself, many of whom are
not able to perceive the inner world as you do, but who might
be open and receptive to what you have to offer provided they
can grasp it. Try to acknowledge the importance of others in
your personal equation, for the desire to express your gifts
requires someone other than yourself to receive them. True
creative expression is not a narcissistic process, but one which
links people through a vision which is common to all, although
perhaps articulated only by a few. Relax and give the world a
chance.
Self-expression meets with inner blocks
You have a powerful and irresistible drive to express your inner
world. Yet you may often experience a feeling of being blocked,
and this could undermine your confidence and stand in the way
of the kind of creative work which would fulfil you. The blocks
may also seem to come from the world outside - people who
appear to misunderstand you, or undervalue your ideas, or
reject the form in which you express yourself. There is a
complex mechanism within you which you need to understand if
you are to turn this sense of being blocked into a positive
motivation. Your inner standards are extremely high, and you
expect a clarity and perfection from yourself which probably no
human is able to meet - except perhaps those people of genius
who have produced the world's great works of art. You may well
be one of these - a birth chart does not designate whether or
not one is a genius, only the direction in which one's abilities lie
- but even if you are, you may still expect too much of yourself.
Behind these impossible expectations lie deep fears of rejection,
a sense of isolation, and a fear that whatever you try to
communicate will fail to come across to the world outside. The
standards you set may sometimes be a form of self-sabotage - if
you expect failure, you will make sure that you fail in your own
eyes first before you even begin, so that you are spared the pain
of offering your work to others and then failing in their eyes. It
is a complex mechanism, and rather than indicating a "character
flaw", reflects your deep need to offer the truth of your inner
vision in as precise and authentic a form as possible. Try to bear
your anxiety in a more honest way, so that you are able to take
the risk of offering the kind of creative work which most deeply
reflects your soul. And if you need to compromise to some
extent in order to be understood, try not to interpret this as a
reflection of either the world's stupidity or a self-betrayal. It
may be neither - it may simply be the price of translating the
ineffable into form.
Learning to tolerate criticism
You have tremendous pride, and this is a positive quality in
your working life because it helps you to maintain your inner
integrity and your loyalty to your creative vision. Your need to
be acknowledged as the individual you are preserves you from
the kinds of compromises which so many people make in their
lives, and the pride you take in your own authenticity ensures
that your standards are maintained and that you always aspire
toward excellence. However, this same pride can also cause
many problems. You tend to take professional criticism highly
personally, as though a comment about a piece of work
somehow reflects a rejection of your fundamental identity. This
is, in part, because there is a piece of your soul in every creative
project you embark on, and it is impossible to be entirely
objective because you put so much of your real self into what
you do. But you may need to learn to distance yourself from
your work, at least a little, so that a perfectly legitimate
observation that something could be done better or made more
accessible does not make you feel resentful and humiliated.
You want the world to see and recognise you as a creative
individual, and to see and recognise your work as a valid
expression of that individuality. Your propensity for self-
mythologising ensures that you perceive yourself as special. Yet
you need to be able to tolerate others' failure to recognise your
specialness without feeling rancour and without retreating
behind a defence of superiority. Learn to differentiate between
the essence of what you create and the techniques through
which it is expressed; you may need to always endeavour to
improve the latter and accept others' advice on how to do it,
while preserving the integrity of the former.
Accepting the imperfect
You have a deep sensitivity to a realm of beauty that is deeper
or higher than the material world; and you want more than
anything to be able to express this through a suitable creative
medium. Whether you work in one of the "pure" arts or in more
commercial fields such as design, you are open to many subtle
levels of life which others do not perceive, and you long to be
able to create things which serve as a bridge between this world
and those other levels to which you are so attuned. This may
need to form the core of your vocation and your creative work.
But you will need to learn to tolerate imperfection if you are to
successfully translate your vision into form. No purpose will be
served by reworking a painting or a novel or a piece of music
for forty years, always trying to achieve some impossible
standad which ensures that no one else will ever see what you
have produced. You need not only to accept the gap between
vision and reality, but also to let go of your work when it is good
enough - for "good enough" may be the thing you need most to
learn to recognise about your work. You will probably never be
entirely happy about compromising your vision, and you will
always long for something which is unobtainable in this
mundane world. But you can make a rewarding and worthwhile
contribution to any field in which you work, provided you are
able to value what you create on a human rather than a divine
scale. You may need to consider the possibility that impossible
standards could be a means of avoiding the real test of offering
your talents in the marketplace. If you never release a work for
others' judgement, you never have to face the anxiety and pain
of rejection or criticism. It is important for you to keep your
integrity in whatever work you do, especially any artistic project
on which you are engaged. But it is also important for you to
allow things to be born in the mundane world, where they may
seem less than perfect but where they have a chance to be
appreciated and to nourish your confidence to do even better
next time.
Chapter V
Working with Others
One of the most important factors to consider in terms of your
direction in life is how you work with others. Everyone has his
or her own style of relating in the working environment;
everyone has different needs and requirements; everyone needs
a different degree of privacy or teamwork; and everyone
interacts differently with peers and with authority figures. There
is no "normal" way of being with others, but it is important that
you understand just what you do need, so that you can maximise
your abilities in the best possible way. Many specific issues
concerned with your interaction with others at work have been
covered in earlier sections; the following paragraph is more a
summary of fundamental needs which might be helpful to keep
in mind.
Shared vision matters more than conversation
You are not an especially gregarious person when it comes to
casual acquaintances, and a working environment full of people
with whom you cannot share your ideas and visions is not likely
to satisfy you. You need a few colleagues or friends with whom
you can discuss creative work, without feeling that you have to
be sociable throughout the working day. The ordinary chit-chat
of office life is likely to feel banal and invasive to you, and you
would probably do best avoiding it if you can. You are also not
especially amenable to others' suggestions until you have
worked on a creative idea sufficiently to not feel vulnerable, and
you can be extremely sensitive to thoughtless criticism or casual
remarks about work you take seriously. You probably find it
hard to adapt your thoughts to others' wishes, and would
therefore not get on especially well in a hierarchical structure
where you need to follow someone else's authority. You like to
do things your way and in your own time. You are perfectly
capable of friendliness, generosity and interest in others; but
your creative vision must come first, and interference to your
concentration by too many demands by others can leave you
feeling angry, resentful, and frustrated. All this adds up to a
need to work on your own or with a few carefully chosen
colleagues, with plenty of privacy and time to work things
through yourself.
However, you are also human, and your powerful need to
express yourself requires someone out there who is willing to
receive what you are offering. Although you are not likely to fit
into a work structure where you are surrounded by people all
the time, you also cannot exist in a vacuum, and if you work on
your own it will be necessary for you to deal with others when
the time comes to publish, exhibit, or demonstrate your creative
efforts. It is important that you recognise your need for an
audience of some kind, even if you sometimes feel disdainful of
those who do not understand the inner world as you do. This is
particularly the case if you wish to earn a living through your
creative skills, for you need to communicate and cannot expect
others to understand you if you do not make some effort to
speak their language. Try not to carry a chip on your shoulder
about being misunderstood. If this occurs, it could be that you
are contributing to the difficulty by your reluctance to share
what matters most to you in forms which are accessible to
others. The same applies to your direct dealings with others.
Try to let them get to know your thoughts and ideas, rather
than assuming from the outset that they will not understand.
There will always be people who can make no sense of another
person's inner vision; but equally, there will always people who
can grasp enough for you to feel you have communicated. And
you need the support, encouragement, and faith of those who
believe in you and your creative vision. Nurture such contacts
carefully and well, for they can make all the difference in terms
of both your success and your sense of individual fulfilment.
Chapter VI
What Success Really Means to You
When people speak of "success", they generally mean a position
of importance in the world's eyes, or a job that yields lots of
money and all the material pleasures and comforts that implies.
But success, in terms of the deeper issue of vocation, is a highly
individual thing that means different things to different people.
Success in this more profound sense is linked with an
individual's capacity to express in the outer world the values
and ideals which matter most in the inner world. Seen in this
way, success may not involve money or position at all; for it
depends on a quality of inner loyalty and integrity, and reflects
the real essence of individuality rather than a common
consensus based on superficial social or material concerns.
Success, for you, must reflect the efforts you make to bring
order to your inner and outer world. Although material reality
is important to you, you are not motivated by monetary gain or
status or a "top" position in the world. Deep down, you are a
craftsman, whether you work with material substance or the
stuff of the human psyche or body. To integrate, polish, refine,
craft, and make whole and healed are the tasks toward which
your spirit impels you, and your work needs to allow you to do
these things in order to feel you are living a meaningful life.
Being useful is fundamental to any real sense of success, and
you need to know that your life is fulfilling a useful purpose or
serving the higher realities in which you believe. More than
many people, you are capable of loving work for work's sake,
for it helps you to feel connected to the deeper rhythms of daily
life and the larger pattern in which you instinctively know your
own life is embedded. Integrity is also extremely important to
you, on the most profound level: you need to serve your inner
ideal rather than accommodate the external world simply for
security or material gain.
A certain fear of emotional vulnerability could lead you to focus
too much on the mundane details of your work, at the expense
of your working relationships and your ability to be open to
more intuitive and imaginative approaches. Worries about
rejection, hurt, or exclusion could create too many defences
which could narrow your vision and block real creative work in
favour of what is safe and reliable. However, this anxiety could
also serve a highly positive purpose, provided you do not
become too mistrustful or defended against your own feelings.
Your sensitivity to emotional hurt could make you truly
compassionate toward others, guiding you into work which
involves the healing of damage and pain; and your vulnerability
could lead you to explore deeper levels of human nature,
impelling you to understand much more about why human
beings suffer and how they can be helped.
You need to work to make bridges, heal what has been spoiled,
integrate what has fallen into disunity, and bring to its most
efficient and healthy functioning whatever has been
contaminated, ignored, or allowed to fall into disrepair. You
might do this with objects, with buildings, with the physical
body, with the psyche, or with nature or the plant and animal
kingdoms. A true vocation, for you, must allow you to bring to
your immediate world a little of the order and harmony which
you know to be the underpinning of all existence.
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