Relationshop Horoscope, copy for partnerfor Brad Pitt, born on 18 December 1963
and Angelina Jolie, born on 4 June 1975
|Text by Liz Greene, Copyright © Astrodienst AG 2013|
ETPRE 13009.2-2, 10.1.13
|TABLE OF CONTENTS I. Introduction The Alchemy of Relationship II. What Brings You Together A First Look * An Inner Conflict of Realism and Vision Heart and Body * Irrepressible Desires * A Sense of Safety Mind and Spirit * An Ongoing Birthday Party * Where There's Life There's Hope * Flying a Hot Air Balloon * Riding the Roller Coaster * Complement and Combat * A Display of Fireworks Conflict and Challenge * Mutual Therapy * Tongue-Tied III. The Essence of Your Relationship Your Relationship as an Independent Entity * The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of * Caution, Turn On Fog Lamps * A Subtle Dialogue Your Relationship and Yourself * A Stirring of the Heart and the Passions * Muscle Power * Home Comforts * Feeling loved * Waking Up the Mind and Spirit * Strawberry Fields * Learning to Laugh * Deeper Levels are Activated Within You * Inner Renewal Your Relationship and Your Partner * Your Partner's Heart is Also Stirred * Coming Home * Love Hurts * Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say * An Activation of Your Partner's Creative Potentials * Your Partner Too Can Be a Stand-Up Comic * Chariots of Fire * Your Partner's Mind and Spirit Come Alive * How to Be a Rent-an-Argument Service IV. Deeper Issues Activated Inside Basic Relationship Patterns within You * The Eternal Youth Within Basic Relationship Patterns within Angelina * The Double-Edged Gift of Self-Sacrifice * A Reluctant Martyrdom V. Conclusion Appendix The Perspective of the Relationship Horoscope * Astrological Technique * Further Reading|
The Alchemy of Relationship
"The meeting of two people is like the meeting of two chemical
substances. If anything happens, both are changed."
- C. G. Jung When we mix together the ingredients for a cake, we begin by measuring the appropriate quantities of distinct and separate ingredients: flour, butter, eggs, sugar, milk. But somehow, when these are blended together in a particular order and baked at a particular temperature, we create an altogether different entity. The chemical composition of the ingredients has irrevocably changed; the cake smells, looks and tastes different from any single ingredient which we put into it at the outset; and through some magic which the chemist might explain but the cook usually does not comprehend, a transformation process has occurred which is nothing short of miraculous. Some ingredients, skillfully combined, make a delicious treat. Others produce a reasonable but unexciting dessert. Still others, even if they sounded wonderful in the book, create one of those kitchen failures which teach us to try another recipe next time. And perhaps even more mysteriously, different people like some kinds of cakes and find others indigestible; and no one really knows why. Human relationships are considerably more enigmatic than cookery, for the psychologist, unlike the chemist who observes changes in the molecular structure of eggs and flour, will never be able to totally reduce our interaction with others to a rational formula. There is a profound mystery at the heart of every relationship which always eludes our best efforts to explain why we are with this person and not that one. Yet the essential principle is the same. Take two human ingredients, distinct and separate, and put them together in the mixing bowl of a close relationship. Stir vigorously and apply heat - the heat of sexual desire, emotional need, conflict, intellectual exchange, the challenges of time and mundane circumstances, idealisation and inspiration - and through some extraordinary alchemy a new entity is created with its own life- force, its own intelligence and vision, and its own identity independent of and different from the two people who generated it. Even more mysterious is the effect which this new entity has on the character and development of the individuals involved. At best, each person may grow and blossom through the transformative effect of the relationship. At worst, both may suffer. Or the relationship may be healthy for one partner but turns out, however delicious, to disagree badly with the other. Some people bring out the worst in us, and some bring out the best. And this is not necessarily related to how we are treated by our partners. We may feel profound compassion for failings in one individual which invoke only contempt or anger when we perceive the same failings in someone else. We may find ourselves able to explore and express talents and abilities in one relationship which seem mysteriously blocked or thwarted in another - despite any active encouragement or obstruction on the part of our companion. Sometimes even deep love between partners cannot prevent the gradual erosion of confidence and enthusiasm in one or both people. Sometimes a couple who have always been ill-suited and unhappy with each other remain inexplicably locked in relationships for a lifetime, yet at other times a couple who in fact have much in common as well as a deep attachment to each other are forced apart in spite of their sincere and prolonged efforts to preserve the bond. Many failed relationships are due to the unintentionally destructive actions of both partners, and could be helped or even radically transformed through insight and joint effort. Many others are inexplicably unworkable despite such insight and effort. Every relationship contains many ingredients, some conscious and some unconscious; and however deeply we analyse ourselves and our partners, we must sometimes accept some deeper or higher intelligence at work in our relationship patterns. Yet whatever the nature and outcome of a relationship, if - as Jung puts it - anything "happens", both people are irrevocably changed. CHAPTER II WHAT BRINGS YOU TOGETHER Our attraction to another person is rarely as simple as we believe it to be at the time we experience that initial fascination. We may admire someone's handsome face or soulful eyes or lovely body or graceful way of moving. Or we may be drawn to their sense of humour, their intelligence or their personal power and self-confidence. But what we first register about another person is only the tip of a very deep and complex iceberg. You and Angelina are two distinct individuals - two entirely different "substances" - each of whom brings to the alchemy of your relationship a defined personality with its own unique gifts, attributes and conflicts. But what is the specialness of the attraction? What has brought you together? George Bernard Shaw, cynical about relationships at the end of his life, once defined the state of being in love as the fallacy of believing that one person was actually different from another. Most of us, unless we have been deeply and perhaps pathologically embittered by experience, would not agree with him; people are ultimately irreplaceable because they are unique, and you and Angelina create a unique chemistry between you. There may be areas where, in terms of your basic characters, you have an instinctive harmony and understanding with each other. That is usually why we believe we are attracted to another person: They seem to embody what we most admire and need. Yet in your relationship, as in every other, there will inevitably be friction and opposition as well as attraction, and you and your partner must accept a certain amount of compromise and adjustment in order to function together as a couple. And on a deeper level, there may be areas where you touch off highly combustible unconscious issues within each other, stirring up emotions and reactions which surprise you both. "But I didn't know that about her," you may say later. Or perhaps you really did know, but the glow of the initial intoxication obscured your own instinctive knowledge. 1. A First Look We shall look first at what has drawn you together. You may recognise in the initial overview an attraction of temperaments which you have met before in other relationships. This is because all of us instinctively seek in another what we feel we are missing within ourselves, and if one relationship fails to provide it then we will continue to seek that sustenance from the next. But your bond with your partner is unique, for you and Angelina are the highly individual human substances whose mysterious chemical interaction may ultimately change you both. An Inner Conflict of Realism and Vision Because you have considerable inner tension between your security needs and the more romantic and idealistic side of your nature, you are likely to bring a certain amount of conflict into your relationship with Angelina simply because you are torn between reality and your dream of love. The earthier aspects of your personality crave stability and continuity, but if you try to circumscribe the relationship with too many routines and structures, you tend to start feeling restless and trapped, as though something has gone "missing" from the original romantic excitement. Equally, if there is too much unpredictability, you begin to feel insecure and threatened. Probably you confuse yourself as much as you confuse your partner with these apparently contradictory and mutually exclusive needs, and you may need to be careful not to try to solve the problem by repressing one side of yourself in favour of the other. The truth is that you need both from your partner, and the two of you need to work together to find a lifestyle which allows enough reliability but which also allows a spirit of adventure and excitement to occasionally upset the routine. If you reject the more staid side of your nature because you are afraid of being trapped in mundane life, you may force Angelina to carry the weight of the practical side of the relationship, which would end up depressing her and cutting you off from any feeling of real security within yourself. But if you try to suppress your natural romanticism in favour of security, you may stifle your partner and force her to act out the unpredictable elements in your own personality. If you can learn to live with your own contradictions, allowing a place for both in the relationship, you and your partner will be able to enjoy the entire spectrum. 2. Heart and Body The most obvious way in which you and Angelina affect each other is through the activation of each other's emotions and desires. Although such a mutual stirring of feelings and passions may not always be comfortable or harmonious, nevertheless even through conflict this activation of heart and body gives life, energy and excitement to the attraction between you. Irrepressible Desires Put very simply, your looks turn your partner on, and you are likely to experience a very strong sexual attraction for each other. Probably she is the sexual initiator in the relationship, directly or indirectly; and the intensity of her attraction, combined with her romantic idealism, are a source of life and energy to you. She vitalises you, and her admiration brings out your natural generosity and warmth. The uncomplicated and direct nature of this aspect of your attraction, and the possibilities it offers for sexual harmony and compatibility, are a positive counteraction to any conflicts which might arise in the relationship; for this strong physical attraction between you is likely to be a lasting one. A Sense of Safety Your partner is likely to experience feelings of deep fondness and warmth toward you, particularly toward the vibrant and enthusiastic way in which you express yourself to the outer world. The person you are striving to become strikes a deep resonance in Angelina, and makes her want to offer emotional support and containment. This attraction can bring you extremely close at times, even to the point where you could become one of those couples who comfortably mirror each other's dress and mannerisms; and the sense of safety and security your partner provides you is also likely to create a deeply affectionate quality both in bed and out. Her loyalty and willingness to champion her loved ones makes you feel more effective as an individual, and more attractive and desirable as well. The mutual sense of affection and warmth the two of you generate is one of the happiest notes in your attraction to each other. 3. Mind and Spirit You and Angelina have a dynamic effect on each other not only because emotions and passions are stirred, but also because the mind and spirit in both of you are stimulated and expanded as well. Although such intellectual, spiritual and creative stimulation of each other may at times seriously challenge existing attitudes and beliefs, thus causing you to quarrel or disagree, nevertheless the ultimate effect you have on each other is one of increased understanding and vision, and the development of talents and skills in each of you which may have been ignored or undervalued in the past. An Ongoing Birthday Party The dramatic and energetic qualities of your personality have a way of making your partner genuinely like you. You inspire great tolerance and generosity in her, and she is likely to want to offer her best to you. There are elements of real respect and admiration in her feeling about you, and even without any romantic attraction, she would probably instinctively feel the basis for a friendship. You also seem to trigger her feelings of hope and faith in the future and in her own potentials, and her need for creative expression is likely to be expanded and given form through your company. The two of you also have the ability to laugh together, for you bring out your partner's sense of humour and are in turn a receptive audience for it. Whatever emotional conflicts might arise between you, the creative energy and enthusiasm which you generate in each other can help you both cope with your problems from a more positive and constructive viewpoint. Where There's Life There's Hope Your partner's innate originality and sparkle arouse generous and downright noble feelings in you. Without trying, she makes you want to offer your best to the relationship, and she also stirs your sense of optimism about the future, expanding your horizons and giving you greater faith in yourself and your potentials. It is as though she stirs the spirit in you as well as the heart, and the quality of friendship and mutual consideration inherent in the attraction between you makes you both better people. In turn you bring a quality of vision and meaning into your partner's life, for your adventurous spirit and creative mind give her a sense that life is bigger, broader and much more interesting in your company. The two of you bring out some very refined and idealistic feelings in each other, as well as a deep spiritual sense that life is essentially good and will take care of itself; and even if this makes you both a little too stylised, grand and extravagant at times, it also ensures that the sense of fun, adventure and hope will rarely be absent between you. Flying a Hot Air Balloon There is great vitality and inspiration in the energy exchange between you and Angelina, for you spark each other off not only sexually but also in terms of your sense of expansiveness and future possibilities. It is as though, when you are together, you suddenly begin thinking of all the things you could do together, and all the places you could go, and life opens up in a much bigger and more exciting way. Your need to grow and stretch your horizons is triggered by your partner's natural enthusiasm and courage, and you are likely to loyally back her efforts and goals because you can intuitively understand what she wants from life. She also brings out your generosity and warmth, and whatever goals she pursues, she has a loyal and well-meaning supporter who believes in her. Your partner in turn is energised by your adventurous spirit and imagination, and there is something about you which makes her want to work hard for the relationship as well as for her own goals. The two of you can very rapidly generate some quite grand dreams about what you will do with your future together, and may sometimes overestimate where you can get and how fast you can get there; for you also activate each other's expansiveness and wilfulness. But the optimism and confidence you bring out of each other create a resilience in both of you which can help you to bounce back from disappointments and find the energy and hope to try again. Riding the Roller Coaster Part of the attraction between the two of you involves the electric quality of instability and mental awakening which your partner brings into your life. Although this may at times be quite disturbing to you both, it is nevertheless a powerful component in what draws you together. There is something about her essential nature, with its high ideals and strong desire for perfection, which excites and fascinates you, for Angelina opens up facets of life and of your personality of which you have probably previously had little experience. She in turn is drawn to a quality of originality and spirit of which you might not have been fully aware, but which attracts her like a flower does a bee. But you may not always welcome the stirring of this more unconventional side of your nature, and the feeling of moving into an unknown world of ideas and experiences may bring up powerful feelings of anxiety in you. This anxiety is a natural human reaction to change, for it is likely that your partner, willingly or unwillingly, will eventually be the catalyst for major changes in your world-view and the ways in which you express yourself. You may need to be aware of your tendency toward abrupt and compulsive withdrawals because of your anxiety. The unpredictable element which the two of you experience is rather like a fluctuating electrical current, and it may lead to crises and separations; for you are like a pair of magnets, sometimes attracting and sometimes repelling. But if you and your partner can recognise that perhaps this element is needed in both your lives, and that you and Angelina can help to free each other from many old attitudes and outworn habits, you will both be able to manage the challenge you pose each other with greater confidence and trust in yourselves. Complement and Combat You and your partner fascinate but also irritate each other because of your extreme differentness. There is a dichotomy between your essential values and outlook which is both complementary and combative, and her innately reasonable and civilised nature will often conflict with what she experiences as your occasional bouts of insensitivity and self-centredness. However, despite the rather tense feelings which may arise between you because of this difference of temperament, there is also quite a lot of strong attraction and admiration, for each of you expresses something the other needs to learn. You might both try to cultivate greater tolerance toward each other, enjoying the other's abilities while remaining loyal to your own values; for your respective goals and world-view, although right and necessary for you individually, may not be right for the other, and efforts at conversion on either side will only spoil the attraction you feel toward each other. A Display of Fireworks The mutual excitement which you and Angelina arouse in each other is also full of friction, conflict and competitive feeling, and you will probably both need to cultivate a taste for a good fight if you are to make the best of your attraction to each other. The two of you carry a very high voltage between you, and this is a great sexual stimulant; but your steady and tenacious approach to getting what you want somehow grates against your partner's natural enthusiasm. Through no fault of either of you, you are likely to find yourselves in combat even if you want the same things, because you pursue them in opposite ways. What you really have is a good old-fashioned battle of wills, with each of you trying to assert your strength in the face of the other's apparent aggression. You and Angelina energise each other very strongly, both sexually and in terms of your goals and ambitions; but you are also likely to spend a lot of time expending that energy locking horns. If you can avoid taking it all too personally, the two of you can learn a lot about tolerance; but somehow, when you and your partner get around each other, your capacity to remain calm and reflective tends to fly out of the window. If you have had a problem with open conflict in the past, this relationship can help you to appreciate the importance and positive value of clearing the air from time to time, and can teach you not to be frightened of healthy anger and competition. But you will need to learn to deal with powerful emotions in yourself and in your partner, for if you bottle them up to avoid confrontation, you may find that you begin to accumulate a deep well of resentment which, when it finally does erupt, is much bigger and darker than whatever incident might have triggered it. 4. Conflict and Challenge In many respects, as the above analysis indicates, the ways in which you and Angelina affect each other are lively and positive. Even when there is friction, it is likely to be stimulating rather than oppressive. But there are deeper levels at work in every relationship, and the unconscious exchange between two people may be quite different from what is experienced on the conscious level. It is as though one drama is being enacted openly between you in the sitting room of the house, but an entirely different and more disturbing one is taking place in the basement - and periodically some sulphurous fumes may rise up the staircase to disturb the activity above. The unconscious fears and defensive reactions which you and your partner activate in each other may from time to time rise to the surface of your life together, creating hurtful difficulties which you may initially not understand. But if you are willing to explore the motives and feelings at work beneath the threshold of your everyday awareness, these conflicts can lead to great insight, growth and compassion in both of you. Mutual Therapy Your ability to contact a rich lode of imagination within yourself activates your partner's admiration, but it also stirs up some very deep anxieties in her. You seem to embody not only all that she respects and values, but also all that she feels unable to express herself; for you are, albeit unwillingly, a catalyst for unconscious hurts and frustrations which spring from her childhood and which will very likely arise in quite disturbing ways within this relationship. If Angelina is not honest with herself about the challenge you pose simply by being yourself, and not able to face her vulnerability and need of you, she is likely to sometimes display a critical and defensive attitude, and may even cut off her feelings in an abrupt and hurtful fashion. Because a deeper level of interchange is invoked through your attraction to one another, greater consciousness is required of you both. You are probably quite sensitive to your partner's fear of the physical world, including her own body and image, and you are likely to feel strongly protective and loyal toward this hurt and awkward side of your partner. But elements of inadvertent bruising are still likely to arise between you. If you wish to avoid wounding and being wounded in this relationship, both of you need to be open and honest about yourselves. The healing which Angelina seeks from you can truly be achieved, but the key lies in your being able to feel compassion for her flaws as well as admiring her strengths; and for her to accept this more realistic but also more enduring kind of love. Tongue-Tied Angelina is as drawn to you for your qualities of mind as to your qualities of heart and body. But the communication between you is a complex issue, because certain deeper and more unconscious feelings are stirred which can create problems in an otherwise fertile dialogue. Although your partner has a profound admiration for your way of thinking and expressing yourself, she also feels somewhat intimidated or threatened by what she experiences as your superior mental abilities. Your shrewd and realistic way of looking at things, which allows you to cut through nonsense to the truth of the matter, have, through no fault of yours, triggered old hurts around communication and learning which spring from your partner's childhood, and which make her feel inadequate around you even when there may be no cause. But this activation of deeper issues may not be evident to your partner on a conscious level; you may instead see her react to you with criticism, silence, evasion, or a show of patronising indifference, so that you wind up being the one who feels intellectually inferior in some way. You may also feel as though she does not listen to you, or disagrees with you on principle without reflection. If the two of you do not understand what has been set in motion between you, you may sometimes find yourselves in some rather nasty and wounding arguments. But you have the capacity for great insight into your partner's dilemma, and the more the two of you are able to discuss these issues honestly, the more creative the outcome; for Angelina can offer you a stabilising and containing quality which can help you to ground your ideas and put them to practical use. CHAPTER III THE ESSENCE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP 1. Your Relationship as an Independent Entity In alchemical symbolism, two substances combine to create a third, new entity. The relationship which you and Angelina create together is a living thing, an independent entity in its own right. It has an essential character or basic nature just as any living thing does, and therefore its development process follows the integrity of its own inner law - just as a tomato plant grows from a seed into itself rather than an apple tree. This essential character might or might not be what either you or your partner has in mind as an individual. Probably it is a little of both. And neither you nor Angelina may fully perceive the real essence of your relationship until sufficient time has passed for you to experience on the emotional as well as the intellectual level what you have created between you. Also, this mysterious entity has an outer personality which expresses itself in the world in very distinct ways which are different from your own personalities; and it may surprise you when friends or relatives or colleagues describe how they see you as a couple because you are not aware of the outer shape of the life-form you and your partner have created together. Your relationship is the product of the mysterious chemical interaction that occurs between the two of you. Yet it is not wholly under the control of either of you, and it is possible that, while you can bring greater consciousness to the core issues expressed within the relationship, you cannot ultimately turn it into exactly what you want through any act of will. Once the ingredients for a cake are chosen, mixed and baked, we must accept the nature of the thing we have made. We can make certain alterations, like putting on a delicious frosting, and we can try to ensure that we have our cake at a time when we are hungry and will appreciate its taste. But we cannot unbake the ingredients and demand that they combine differently to get a different sort of cake. Once we create a relationship, we must also accept and work with the thing we have made; for it is the product of a combination of individuals, alchemically mixed, cooked and brought to life. The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of The keynote of your relationship with Angelina is enchantment. This quality of dreamlike beauty and bewitchment embraces many dimensions of reality, from the erotic to the spiritual. And some aspects of it can be inspiring and uplifting while others may be painful, confusing and disappointing. Above all, enchantment implies a state which is above or beyond ordinary mundane reality - an alternative world where feelings are heightened, events are infused with hidden meaning, knights protect princesses from dragons, and gods and heroes walk the earth. Here in this magical Paradise Garden, protected from the intrusion of the banal, the loneliness of human existence can be mitigated through a "true" union of souls. Because of your strong reasoning faculties and your need to understand life and love in terms that can be clearly formulated, you may at times find your relationship with Angelina rather difficult to deal with. The highly idealised vision of love inherent in the relationship may make you feel extremely uncomfortable because you are not ordinarily at your best when confronted with something so elusive and other-worldly; and the element of almost mystical self- sacrifice which the relationship carries may also be a problem because you are too realistic to see the point in sentimentalised suffering. However, reality may exist on many levels, and states of enchantment may carry as much meaning and relevance as more solid, safe and definable experiences of love; and if you allow the relationship to work its alchemy on you, it can open wide the gates of your imagination and your heart. The rather exalted emotional atmosphere of the relationship is likely to stimulate a lot of idealism in both you and your partner, and both of you may at times experience a sense that some "higher" destiny was at work in bringing you together. There may also be a strange sense of recognition between you, fostered by the sense of fusion which the relationship generates, which may lead you to believe that this is a bond which has endured through many lifetimes. Whether or not these feelings are "true" in any objective sense (and no horoscope can answer that question), they are certainly true on the psychological level as a reflection of the relationship's emotional tone. This bond might well give you and your partner a feeling of being lifted out of the usual limits and difficulties of the world of money, security, domestic routines, and social status. When you are together, these things may not seem to matter any more. Others will also appreciate the creative spark and intensity between you, because together you tend, consciously or not, to project an image of style, grace and harmony which to some people may seem the embodiment of the "ideal couple". Whatever you might really be feeling, there is a romantic ambience about the surface style of this relationship which will make the two of you dress and interact with others with qualities of harmony and good taste. This is in many ways a true reflection of the more romantic and idealistic elements within the relationship. The two of you are also unlikely to air your feelings in public, regardless of how combustible things might be between you at times; and this enhances the elegant and courteous persona which this relationship carries. But this state of fusion which lies at the core of your relationship may in part be illusory, because it requires the blurring or disregarding of your individual boundaries. Because the emotional energy of this bond has a way of eroding your sense of separate reality, it may also lead both of you into an unwitting abdication of personal authority and responsibility within the relationship. There may be a deep sadness inherent in the spell which the relationship casts over you both, for there is always some sacrifice involved in enchantment - whether this means giving up certain material rewards in order to be together, or giving up the hope of a permanent relationship. The heightened perceptions which the relationship is likely to stir in you and your partner are impossible to preserve intact in a world bound by time and human limits. Some compromise of the dream must ultimately be made, and some acceptance of each other's flawed humanity. Thus the enchantment of your bond opens up the gates of a magical world, stirring the spirit and the creative imagination in both of you, but at the same time containing within itself the inevitable seeds of disillusionment. This relationship is liable to activate a very deep and perhaps previously unconscious need in both of you to transcend the loneliness of mortal life and restore a lost state of union which is really reminiscent of the pre- birth state. This longing exists in all human beings, and in some way it is a very powerful drive, stimulating the desire to find meaning beyond the ordinary events of life. Perhaps you and Angelina were not really aware of this before you met. But something about this relationship activates it powerfully in each of you. If you perceive yourselves as soulmates, bound together through many lifetimes or connected by some inner purpose, you may experience times of deep joy and peace with each other. But equally, you may find it extremely difficult to shift gears and deal with everyday limits and disappointments. There is a kind of addictive quality to your bond, which may make you avoid or reject the natural process of getting to know one another as ordinary individuals, and confronting each other about your differences and conflicts. The enchantment of the relationship may cause you to stifle emotions such as anger or assertiveness, or may lead one or both of you to sacrifice your own valid path in life in order to remain in this soothing bath - even after the water has grown cold. And this movement toward the submergence of individual will and desire may be so extreme that, in a subtle way, you and your partner actually avoid any real commitment - either through some voluntary sacrifice or through an external situation which may be unconsciously architected by one or both of you, and which seems to prevent you building a stable life together. Caution, Turn On Fog Lamps The greatest danger which you and your partner face in the midst of all this beauty and enchantment is the tendency to indulge in self- deception or deception of each other, because the ambience of the relationship makes you try too hard to preserve the magic you have experienced together. Self-deception in this instance means that you may both easily repress or ignore your own very legitimate emotional needs, ideals, beliefs and goals, pretending that each of you wants only what the other wants. If you lie to yourselves in this way, you may stifle fundamental and healthy aspects of your own natures, and these repressed drives will one day rise to the surface and create great confusion and difficulty. Individuality and fusion are indeed mutually exclusive; but it is possible to have a balance between them. You may also deceive yourselves by ignoring qualities in each other's characters which seem to threaten the feeling of two hearts beating as one. But if you remain willfully blind to the truth of another's character, you do not allow the other person to become real. This may generate deep resentment and anger between you, because you are really asking each other to be some perfect image rather than an actual person. One or both of you could resort to deception in order not to be a disappointment. This can mean deception in small, unconscious, cumulative ways; or it may lead to such big deceptions as secret relationships with others. One way or another, you and your partner, if you do not keep your feet on the ground while your heads are in the clouds, may build a relationship rooted in illusion. A Subtle Dialogue There is another element inherent in your relationship - a powerful mental and communicative energy - which can provide a creative and exciting balance to the enchantment you experience on the emotional level. This energy could bring greater clarity to both of you, and may be a great help in dispelling the romantic fog into which you and your partner are likely to sometimes stumble. Because the lively mental energy of the relationship stimulates both of you to think more clearly and articulate your ideas and feelings to each other more honestly, you and Angelina may find that you can develop some genuine creative fields of endeavour together. You might, for example, become involved as a couple in writing or teaching projects, or in media work of some kind. The relationship's emphasis on communication and mental development can also help to offset the evasion and blurring of boundaries which arise from the more romantic feelings at work between you. The urge toward fusion which permeates this bond can easily make both of you afraid to express yourselves if it shatters the spell; but because you are also likely to need to communicate, you can find greater honesty and directness with each other. You may find that making a conscious effort to develop spheres of shared interest, particularly around intellectual and cultural pursuits, helps to bring a breath of fresh air into the sometimes rather foggy atmosphere engendered by the relationship. The more you and your partner can develop your minds, and the more you are able to exchange ideas with others through friendships and social and humanitarian groups, the more objective your perspective on life will be. The deep sense of union which this relationship carries could be expressed very fruitfully in interests and individual contributions which connect you to a larger humanity. There may always be a certain amount of conflict within this relationship, arising from the gap between your fantasy of oneness and your need to articulate your separate realities to each other. Words and ideas may seem to threaten emotional union, and there is a strong impetus in this bond to avoid too much clarity. Yet these very different but equally valid energies within the relationship are by no means mutually exclusive. You and Angelina need to let words be imaginative vehicles for your feelings, following the path of the poet, the novelist and the dramatist, rather than assuming that too much analysing or intellectualising will spoil the magic of your partnership. Your relationship with Angelina contains a remarkable blend of imaginative fantasy and a powerful drive to express the inner world to the outer in some creative form. 2. Your Relationship and Yourself The following sections describe the effect of this relationship on yourself. While the previous sections of text always spoke to both of you, you and your partner, the focus here will be on your side. A Stirring of the Heart and the Passions Your relationship with Angelina is likely to activate particular aspects of your personality very strongly, and this includes first of all a stirring of your emotional and instinctual nature. The ways in which your passions, your needs and feelings, your sexual responses and your inner sense of self-worth and lovability are aroused - sometimes happily, sometimes through conflict - all contribute most powerfully to the transformative effect the relationship has on you. Muscle Power The image this relationship carries in the eyes of others, and its general style and energy, could be tremendously exciting to you, and you may find yourself greatly aroused by it - sexually and creatively. The partnership also constellates in you a strong desire to work for and put energy into the development of the bond, and it may well have been your initiative which brought it into being in the first place. You may sometimes feel as though it is your passion and enthusiasm which keep it alive, but it brings you to life as well - and you are likely to become better at making decisions and taking charge of your own life as a result. Whatever conflicts might arise between you and your partner, the entity which the two of you create in the world has a positive and energising effect on you, making you more aware of your own potency and generating within you the courage to meet whatever challenges life brings. Home Comforts The loving and physically affectionate qualities of this relationship have a powerfully positive effect on your feelings, offering you a sense of security, contentment and personal happiness. You are likely to feel "at home" in this partnership, despite whatever conflicts you and Angelina might experience; and your sense of self- worth and belief in your own lovability are likely to be greatly enhanced by the genuine warmth and validation you experience through the relationship. Your need to be loved and to belong is strongly activated, and it is likely that you will have both in this partnership; and the deep contentment which you will probably feel is one of the most positive offerings of the bond. Feeling loved The particular romantic qualities of your partnership with Angelina reflect in an especially harmonious way your own ideals of love and romance. Because there is a kind of "match" between certain aspects of the relationship and your own very personal needs, you are likely to feel more loved, wanted, desired and personally fulfilled than you have in the past; and your sense of being an attractive, worthwhile and lovable person is likely to be strengthened considerably. Even if deeper conflicts disturb the emotional flow between the two of you at times, the relationship's capacity to activate your own ability to give and receive love can help to give you the confidence, tact and sensitivity to cope with whatever difficulties might arise. Waking Up the Mind and Spirit Your relationship also exercises a powerful effect on your mental outlook, your spiritual beliefs, and your general attitude toward life, subtly challenging and changing your thinking and your capacity to express yourself. Although some of this stirring of your mind and spirit may occur through a collision of disparate viewpoints, nevertheless this partnership can open many doors for you, broadening your mental horizons and freeing you from old and outworn attitudes and viewpoints. Strawberry Fields Your thinking is likely to be expanded and stimulated by the imaginative and expansive qualities of this relationship, and you will probably find that you are able to maintain a broader perspective on life and to express your ideas and feelings more fluently. In short, this partnership is good for your mind and your powers of communication. The sense of meaning, excitement and future potentials inherent in the relationship stimulates your own creative imagination. You may feel that your partnership with Angelina opens your horizons physically as well as mentally, drawing you into an exploration of many new ideas and places. There may also be some very practical benefits to all this mental inspiration as well; for you are likely to feel supported by the relationship in developing your skills and talents. If you are involved in communication in any professional way (such as writing or teaching), this relationship can provide enormous benefits to you, for somehow it has a way of stimulating in you some very exciting ideas for future creative expression. Learning to Laugh This relationship could prove very inspiring to you, mentally and spiritually, because of the quality of communication inherent in it. Your imagination and sense of future potentials are likely to be activated by the mental rapport you experience with your partner, and your horizons - both mental and physical - are likely to broaden. Your sense of humour is also constellated, and even if deeper emotional difficulties arise between you and Angelina, somehow this relationship encourages you to see the funnier side of even the darkest dilemmas. Even if you have inclined toward a more prosaic and earthbound view of life in the past, this relationship has the power to stir within you a powerful optimism about the future and an increased faith in your own unlived potentials and possibilities. Deeper Levels are Activated Within You However, your relationship with Angelina also has a powerful effect on the deeper and more unconscious levels of your psyche, constellating profound and often permanent changes in your attitudes, your outlook on life, and your understanding of yourself. Because of the more complex effect this relationship has on you, it may not always invoke pleasant responses; for no deep change can occur without conflict, and you may not always like what you discover about yourself. But if you are willing to accept the importance of this partnership, and its potential to heal old wounds and make you more whole, you may be able to tap hitherto unknown resources within yourself and find the most creative ways of dealing with the process of transformation which the relationship will very likely set in motion - with or without your consent. Inner Renewal The power of this relationship, and its impact on your deeper emotions, may sometimes alarm you, for it may provoke deep and permanent changes within you. You may sometimes feel as though you have been "taken over" by the energy of the relationship, as though some fate were at work in your life; and you may become rather obsessed with its importance to you. You may also have to encounter some quite primitive and destructive feelings within yourself, for if you start to feel controlled you are liable to react by trying to gain control over the relationship and your partner as well; and you could experience considerable rage if things do not go your way. You could also use manipulative emotional methods to reestablish a sense of power within the relationship. And you may even react by trying to extricate yourself from it because the relationship is likely to bring profound alterations to your life, external and internal. But if you do find yourself experiencing these difficult reactions, you still have a choice in the matter, and could refrain from engaging in the sort of power-battles which would eventually alienate you from your partner; and you will find that you gain much greater insight into your own depths. This self-knowledge could transform your goals and attitudes toward life. 3. Your Relationship and Your Partner The following sections of text describe the effect of this relationship on Angelina. Your Partner's Heart is Also Stirred Your relationship also has a powerful effect on particular aspects of your partner's passions, feelings and emotional needs; and this means that she, like you, is liable to experience a definite enriching and deepening of her heart and instinctual nature - even if this sometimes occurs through conflict and upset. Coming Home The expansive and innately generous qualities of this relationship are, to put it simply, likely to make Angelina feel good. She will probably feel contained and protected, and supported emotionally in ways which she may not have experienced before. Whatever conflicts might arise on other levels (and there are bound to be some), nevertheless it is as though she has "come home" in some way. And she is likely to respond with an instinctive warmth and enthusiasm which can help her to face most of life's obstacles with optimism and a sense of humour. Even if she is in the midst of full-scale battles with you, she is still likely to retain her faith in the relationship because the relationship helps her to have more faith in herself. And her capacity to express her feelings is likely to be deepened and stretched by the relationship, so that, even if your partner has been a more emotionally withdrawn person in the past, she will be able to be more spontaneous and open with others, and more able to take risks with confidence in her own future. Love Hurts The romantic and erotic dimensions of this relationship may well bring your partner into confrontation with all that has been hurt within her since early childhood. In this way the relationship has the potential of helping her to heal many old wounds through the love and affection generated between you. Angelina may sometimes feel awkward and threatened by the quality of affection and love which she experiences in the relationship, for she is probably accustomed to defending herself against too much closeness in certain ways. Sometimes it is more painful to feel loved than to feel unloved, for this makes us face our own unlovingness, as well as hurts from the past. But this relationship has a way of gently dissolving those defences, and touching very deep levels of your partner's heart through the nature of the warmth and companionship made possible by the bond. If she can avoid defensive maneuvres because it leaves her feeling too vulnerable, she will discover a great deal about herself, as well as developing greater compassion for her own humanness. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say The mental and communicative dimensions of this relationship could stir very powerful emotions in Angelina. She may be surprised and not at all pleased at the depth and intensity of her feelings, particularly if she has seen herself as a rational and controlled sort of personality. More importantly, she may begin to gain insights into herself and life which begin to change her outlook and attitudes at very deep levels. But she could also find herself prone to deep suspicion, jealousy, possessiveness and manipulative behaviour - feelings which have perhaps not been part of her emotional pattern in the past, and which some elusive element in her verbal exchange with you activates. This relationship challenges your partner to understand herself and her emotional nature in greater depth, and also calls upon her to learn to communicate her feelings in more honest and direct ways. This challenge could initially make her profoundly uneasy, as though she is never sure whether what is being said between the two of you is really what is meant. If she can meet the challenge, however, she will find that the mental rapport between the two of you can achieve great depth and insight, changing and deepening her own perceptions of life, love and human behaviour. An Activation of Your Partner's Creative Potentials Your partner can also benefit from the relationship on a creative level, for it is likely to activate her imagination and creative abilities as well as her capacity to express herself in the world. Your Partner Too Can Be a Stand-Up Comic The expansiveness and dynamic energy inherent in this relationship trigger your partner's need to expand her individual horizons, and she will probably gradually become more and more aware of a sense of unlived potentials in her life. Hence the relationship's effect on her will in part be to invoke considerable restlessness, and a stirring of her imagination and belief in her own future possibilities. It is important that Angelina takes these stirrings seriously, for one of the most creative contributions the partnership can offer her is an opening up of her creative potentials and an awakening of her spiritual life. However, she must act on these intuitions if she wants her vision of the future to become a reality. There is also a quality of humour and tolerance within this relationship which activates your partner's own sense of humour and ability to laugh at life; and she may find that she feels more generous and more genuinely tolerant than she has been with others in the past. Chariots of Fire Your partner's sense of potency and effectiveness in the world is likely to be activated strongly by the inherent expansiveness and energy of this relationship. Even if she has not been a very goal- orientated person in the past, this partnership has a way of making her more aware of what she wants, as well as making her want it more passionately. There is a sense of future potentials within the relationship which stimulates Angelina to pursue all her own unlived potential with greater courage and self-confidence than she might have felt before. She may also discover a side of her personality with which she might not have been too well-acquainted: a powerful will which does not compromise readily, and a temper to match when that will is thwarted. Your partner is likely to become an altogether stronger, more honest and more direct person through the effect the relationship has on her; and she may also feel that this bond brings her luck in some way, because of her increased sense of self-esteem and her enhanced feeling of being in charge of her own life. Your Partner's Mind and Spirit Come Alive The relationship also affects your partner's mental outlook and world-view, just as it does your own; and because of the way in which the partnership activates particular aspects of her mind and spirit, she could experience a definite broadening of her mental horizons and vision. How to Be a Rent-an-Argument Service Your partner will probably be highly energised by the mental dimension of the relationship, although this energising may have the effect of making her behave like a "rent-an-argument" service at the same time that it stimulates her ideas and expressive capacities. Somehow the dialogue which is fostered between the two of you activates her awareness of her own individual will and viewpoint, and in this way it has a very positive capacity to help her define her own identity as well as formulating her goals and objectives in life more clearly. But of course the more conscious Angelina becomes of her individual right to think her own thoughts and pursue her own goals, the more likely she is to collide with you at times; hence the propensity for arguments which may arise, largely initiated by her. However, this does not have to be a bad thing; for if she can learn to turn argument into discussion and debate rather than blind verbal bashing, she will discover greater ability to go for what she wants in life, and to express herself more honestly to others. CHAPTER IV DEEPER ISSUES ACTIVATED INSIDE 1. Basic Relationship Patterns within You The transformative potential of your relationship with Angelina may be greater than you realise. Every important human bond activates many levels of the personality, and some of these levels are unconscious and unrecognised. All of us bring our own inner issues and preconceptions into a relationship with another person. A relationship involves not only the chemistry between the two personalities, but also our unconscious images of what it is to be a man or woman. These inner images are partly shaped by our experiences of the first man and woman we meet in life - father and mother. But perhaps more importantly, they also reflect profound hidden truths about our own essential characters. The less aware we are of these deeper aspects of ourselves, the more likely we are to enact and project them blindly - and sometimes destructively - in our relationships. The inner images of man and woman which we all carry are really pictures of our own needs, expectations and potentials. They may be coloured or even distorted by childhood experiences, but fundamentally they belong to us as individuals. They have both positive and negative features, and we have the freedom to express both. Because people are by nature complex and multifaceted, we have more than one of these inner pictures of masculine and feminine within us. And each deep relationship we encounter in life could activate a quite different aspect of our inner world, presenting us with very different challenges and bringing very different responses out of us. The relationship which you and Angelina have created, because it is an independent living thing, will have an effect on the inner world of both you and your partner, triggering unconscious images of masculine and feminine in ways which you may not always be aware of. It is as though the two of you are living with a third person who exercises a subtle but powerful influence on how you feel and behave when you are together. This is the real alchemical work of the relationship, for both of you will be changed by the energies which have arisen between you. Some of its effects might feel very positive, and others might be extremely disturbing. Most human interaction involves a mixture of both. It is likely that sooner or later this relationship will stir up old childhood patterns and feelings, because the inner images of masculine and feminine which you and Angelina bring into the relationship are coloured by the past. This gives you both a chance to discover untapped potentials in yourselves, as well as facing and healing hurts and wounds from early life. You and your partner could respond to the activation of your inner world in a creative and productive way, using what you learn about yourselves to make important changes in your attitudes and manner of self-expression. Or you could blame everyone and everything in sight for your discomfort, and make a general mess out of things if you so choose. You and your partner may not be able to unbake the cake you have made. But you have a great deal of choice in terms of how you deal with what this relationship activates within you. The Eternal Youth Within Whatever you may consciously define as "masculine", there is an image within you of man as eternal youth and free spirit, the special and favoured child of the gods. Your relationship with Angelina brings this image alive in a very powerful way. In mythology, it is best portrayed by the trickster-god Hermes, who presided over the traveller and the wanderer, and served as the messenger between heaven and earth. Although this volatile and youthful image may not accord with more "macho" or conventionally patriarchal images of masculinity, it is an ancient and archetypal portrayal of one of the faces of manhood; and it is part of the fabric of your inner world - whether you are aware of it or not. The most creative face of this inner figure is his spirit of adventure, his clever, inspired and endlessly fertile mind, and his ability to find life perennially interesting and full of possibilities regardless of age or circumstances. There is also great elusiveness and mischief in your youthful inner image of manhood, and you probably carry a strong sense, albeit unconscious, that you ought to be exempt from the moral limits and material burdens of more ordinary folk. Because you feel you are special, you may resent not only the obligations and restrictions which any committed relationship incurs, but even basic human rites of passage, such as ageing, or taking responsibility for the consequences of your choices in life. Even if you are unaware of such feelings, you have a tendency to keep trying to escape from the dreariness of ordinary life through various means - the grand drama of secret love-affairs, the excitement of travel, the glamour of fame, the challenge of dangerous sports, or simply a fantasy-world of your own creation in which the present (including your relationship) is really provisional and "real life" always lies somewhere in the future. The deeper issue underlying such escapist tendencies is in fact a profound resentment at having to be mortal, for the mythic Eternal Youth is the child of the gods. In fact you are special - although this does not mean better than other people - because you possess a rich and fertile imagination, a generous heart and an irrepressible spirit of fun and adventure. But a contributing factor to your inability to find the best expression for this inner image may also be that in childhood you saw your father trapped and resentful at his own life passing by. The archetypal image of Hermes, eternal youth and lord of travellers and wanderers, lies deep in the fabric of your inner life, and strongly colours the kind of man you are - both in your relationship with Angelina and in your dealings with the outer world. This is an enormously creative spirit, which can infuse your life with vision, enthusiasm and unquenchable hope - despite the fact that you may not be altogether suited to the more restrictive aspects of traditional family life. Although you need a certain amount of responsibility and structure to give this inner spirit shape and grounding, you also need to listen to him when he demands air to breathe. For if you can provide channels - in your relationship, your work and your leisure activities - which give him plenty of scope to dream and fly, you will find that he does not topple the stable structures you have built. If you deny him, he will either bring the edifice down through your own unconscious actions, or make his frustration known through depression and psychosomatic symptoms. If you do not balance him with a little worldly realism and discipline, he will keep you living a provisional life with no substance and no real productivity, forever chasing the "one day" which never comes. But if you can contain him without crushing him, you can have it all. 2. Basic Relationship Patterns within Your Partner Angelina also has within her images and patterns of response which are activated by the relationship. Thus your partner is also receptive to the transformative potential of the bond; and even if this sometimes involves conflict and uncomfortable self- confrontation, she could experience deep and positive changes as a result. The Double-Edged Gift of Self-Sacrifice However your partner may consciously define what it means to be a woman, there is an image within her of woman as compassionate redeemer, and sometimes as victim. This image is strongly activated in her through her relationship with you. It is best portrayed by the Christian figure of Mary, the Mater Dolorosa who weeps for the sins and suffering of humankind. But the image of woman as redeemer and victim is really much older than the Christian one. Its roots lie in the ancient oceanic mother-goddesses such as the Babylonian Tiamat, who create the universe and are then dismembered by the hero- gods. These goddesses are terrifying as well as life-engendering, for they also swallow up their creations and start all over again. The most positive attribute of this inner figure is a deep sensitivity to human suffering, and a compassionate response to others' needs. These gifts of the heart form part of your partner's essential character. Even if she is not really conscious of this dimension of her femininity, nevertheless others are probably aware of it because they are the beneficiaries. The dark side of this image, however, is reflected by the devouring propensities of the mother-goddesses of ancient myth. The close emotional identification which Angelina feels toward other people also means that she may have difficulty in establishing her own boundaries and containing her own emotional needs. It is possible that she saw an example of the more difficult face of this archetypal image enacted by her mother during her childhood, and has recoiled against this aspect of her own character as a result. But if she is able to separate her early and perhaps negative experiences from the true meaning and potential of this inner figure, the great depth, insight and compassion inherent in her personality can be expressed without the victimisation and martyrdom that so often accompany these gifts. The conflict between openness to others and firm personal boundaries is a difficult one, and Angelina will need at some point in her life to confront this issue honestly if she is to live her inner image of woman in a creative and personally fulfilling way. Probably her mother had few boundaries and great emotional needs, and this parent's dependency on others may have put her into situations where she suffered without having the power to take charge of her own life. Your partner might also have experienced her mother's suffering as somewhat manipulative, and may also have perceived her sacrifices as bearing very high price tags in terms of what was required in return. There might indeed have been a good deal of unconscious manipulation in this parent's behaviour and situation. Your partner seems to carry a certain amount of guilt and a deep sense of obligation toward her mother which she unconsciously expresses in her relationship with you as well as with others who need her. However independent she may appear on the surface, it is often difficult for her to say "No" to others' demands because she fears the separateness and isolation this might bring her. But if she placates you or martyrs herself because of a fear of loneliness, she will also accumulate a large reservoir of resentment and bitterness which will in turn make her unconsciously manipulative in the same way her mother might have been. Your partner's compassionate response and empathy with others' pain are very real and beautiful attributes of her character. But they may be mixed up with guilt about what she felt she owed to a suffering parent in childhood. If she believes she is only lovable and worthwhile when she is needed and useful, she could also inadvertently try to live for and through you, thus compensating for her own lack of a firm, coherent identity. Your partner may have sensed a deeply wounded quality in her mother. Because of her innate sensitivity, as a child she probably unconsciously assumed the role of redeemer or healer - even if she was unaware of accepting such a responsibility, and even if on the conscious level she found her mother's behaviour difficult and hurtful. Angelina is deeply compassionate toward the wounds in others and probably feels most fulfilled and happy when she is offering help and support. This may be an important and positive aspect of the way in which she relates to you, as well as a potential path for her working life. But she may also identify too closely with this role, and may secretly experience herself as someone irreparably wounded and intrinsically unlovable unless she can earn others' love by giving them the help they need. There may be some tangled issues around wounding and healing from your partner's childhood which need to be explored with insight and compassion. Her natural attraction to the role of the healer is also accompanied on the dark side by a sense of herself as the wounded one. If she is to avoid bringing these patterns into your relationship and martyring herself through her belief that she must earn love through self- sacrifice, she may need to work consciously toward experiencing herself as worthwhile and lovable in her own right. Emotional security and a feeling of belonging are deeply important to your partner - perhaps more than she allows others or even herself to recognise. The sensitive response she has to others' needs reflects her need of them as well. It is likely that she experienced a darker version of this kind of emotional need through her early relationship with her mother. This parent might have tried to live through Angelina, and your partner may have experienced a deep albeit unconscious identification with her mother's unhappiness and unlived life. Issues of dependency are therefore likely to arise in her relationship with you, because she is at the same time both deeply dependent and frightened of dependency - her own as well as yours. Her strong need to belong may conflict with other, more independent qualities in her character, and she may have had a hard time freeing herself from her bonds to her mother because of her emotional loyalty to this parent. There is a deeply maternal element in your partner's nature which finds it difficult not to be needed all the time. Thus she may find it hard to let go of you and give you the necessary independent breathing space. If Angelina saw too much of this kind of dependency in her mother, she may recoil from it in herself. But then it will express itself in covert rather than straightforward ways. It may be important for your partner to explore issues around her true emotional requirements and nature, so that she can separate her perfectly healthy and legitimate need to belong from the darker forms of dependency and emotional blackmail which she may have experienced early in her life. There are qualities of emotional intensity and depth which also belong to your partner's inner image of woman. On the positive side this gives her an almost uncanny insight into the hidden aspects of others' feelings and characters. She possesses great strength of feeling and also the ability to penetrate into and accept even the darkest dimensions of human nature. But she may also have experienced a more difficult side of this emotional depth and intensity in her childhood, for it is likely that her mother also possessed considerable passion and emotional power - even if she concealed it beneath a controlled exterior - and found it difficult to allow others much emotional freedom because of the intensity of her attachment. Your partner may have encountered a good deal of possessiveness in childhood, expressed through atmosphere rather than through actual words or demands, and she may therefore not really recognise the dynamic. But she is quite capable of generating some pretty powerful atmospheres herself if she feels hurt by your neglect, whether she is conscious of it or not. She may have dissociated from this side of her nature because she has instinctively recoiled from the example set in her childhood. But the compassion and sensitivity inherent in her inner image of woman are accompanied by a passion and intensity which make it impossible for her to take emotional bonds lightly. Issues of jealousy and possessiveness are therefore likely to arise between you and your partner, whether she expresses these feelings herself or draws them out of you through her own unconscious provocation. A Reluctant Martyrdom Despite your partner's great compassion and willingness to put others first, there is also a willful and uncompromising quality in her nature which resents such self-sacrifice. This more forceful quality may cause her to accumulate quite a large backlog of resentment and suppressed anger if her will is thwarted or she must compromise her desires. In fact there seems to be quite a conflict in Angelina between asserting her own will and accommodating your needs. She may need to explore the possibility that her anger - and any annoying physical symptoms such as headaches or digestive troubles, which so often express covert anger - are the result of too much placating and a loss of her personal boundaries in the relationship. It is likely that her mother suffered from a similar conflict, and she may have sensed great rage in this parent beneath an apparently self- sacrificing surface. Or perhaps the mother's anger erupted at inappropriate times and in disturbing ways because she secretly felt trapped by her neediness and fought violently against it. Whatever the outer pattern, it is probable that your partner is faced with the same challenge her mother was. Angelina needs to find her own individual way of balancing her natural empathy and need of people with her strongly independent and self-willed nature. If she feels passive and victimised in the relationship, it may be because she does not assert herself in an open way when she needs to. And if she plays the role of the martyr, her anger will inevitably rise to the surface in some unconscious, unpleasant and even unmanageable form. At the core of your partner's inner life the image of woman as compassionate healer stands as the foundation of her emotional world within this relationship. She can live this figure at the same time that she develops other aspects of her personality, for these qualities are not mutually exclusive with a full and independent creative life. But it is likely that Angelina will need to explore her more negative unconscious assumptions about this archetypal facet of the feminine. It seems that some element of sacrifice or suffering which she perceived in her mother's life has driven her into believing that she cannot have a close and emotionally fulfilling relationship with you while at the same time maintaining healthy boundaries and her own psychological and material self- sufficiency. The dark side of your partner's inner image of woman is the passive victim and martyr, where sacrifice may also be a kind of manipulative tool to generate guilt and a sense of obligation in others. It is likely that she saw quite a lot of this darker side acted out in childhood. If this was so, she needs to try not to let it drive her away from her own emotional needs. For in her efforts not to be a victim she may inadvertently dissociate from the voice of her own heart and wind up victimised anyway - not by you, but by her own internal conflict. The mythic figures who personify this subtle but powerful face of the feminine are hardly victims. They are usually omnipotent goddesses who create the manifest universe. When Angelina has discovered the great strength that lies in her vulnerability and need of others, she will have found the key to the most creative expression of this inner image which is really herself. CHAPTER V CONCLUSION It has been suggested by various psychological investigators as well as dramatists, poets and novelists over the ages, that without relationship we would never become conscious of ourselves. It takes another person to reflect back to us, as in a mirror, who we really are, whether this is on the most superficial level of public image or the most profound level of essential identity. Plato once wrote that we see in the face of the beloved a glimpse of the god who presides over our own soul; and it might also be added that we see a glimpse of our personal devils there as well. No astrological chart, whether interpreted through the skills of an individual astrologer or the more limited capacities of a computer, can tell us whether we should or should not be involved with a particular person; nor can it tell us whether the relationship is "good" or "bad", or whether it will endure. Ultimately, human choice, human creativity and human compulsion always upset the most careful of psychological and astrological predictions. But insight into why we are drawn to another person, what we create with that person, and how we are changed by it can give us tools for greater choice and creativity, and fewer compulsions. If a relationship has depth and the power to transform, it will inevitably, at some point, cause us pain - especially the pain of leaving an old and outworn self behind. If we are able to recognise that the only time we truly get to enjoy two hearts beating as one is in the womb, then we can approach our relationships with realism as well as idealism. The medieval alchemists knew that the gold they sought was human gold, not metal; and if we can rediscover some of that vision, then we are better equipped to perform the great and mysterious alchemical work of loving another individual. APPENDIX The Perspective of the Relationship Horoscope In developing the Relationship Horoscope, Liz Greene began with her professional experience of clients wishing to gain astrological insight into their personal relationships. These clients most often have been in a relationship for a period of time, perhaps one or two years if not more, and the romantic and blissful beginnings have moved into a deeper and more realistic interchange. The darker aspects of both personalities have by this time been revealed, and problems and conflicts have come to the surface - usually resulting in a desire to understand more about the dynamics at work.
Both partners may not express the same interest in an astrological analysis of their relationship. One may even be quite skeptical of astrology. But very clearly, one partner is interested - and in this case it is you. You might come alone for an astrological consultation to discuss your relationship with Angelina. The Relationship Horoscope is written with this scenario in mind: It addresses you as the one who has requested the analysis, and it refers to Angelina as a third party, as "your partner". Thus the Relationship Horoscope does not speak to both partners, but to only one. The contents, however, refer to both partners in a symmetrical fashion. If you want to share your Relationship Horoscope with Angelina, you might suggest that she bears this in mind while reading, rethinking the text accordingly. However, if this seems inappropriate for you and your partner, you are free to order a second copy with the text reversed so that it addresses Angelina, referring to you in turn as "your partner".
To order a reverse Relationship Horoscope with the text addressed to Angelina, please write an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and note the order code TPRE as well as the complete number of your present Relationship Horoscope. You will find this number at the bottom of the title window and at the bottom left of each page.
This second report is available at a dramatically reduced price (this may depend on the country from which you order). Astrological Technique To create the Relationship Horoscope, three astrological charts are examined - the natal chart of both partners and the composite chart calculated according to the midpoint method. For the compilation of the interpretation text, the following main astrological factors are taken into account: cross-aspects between the two natal charts, dominant themes in the composite chart, aspects between the composite chart and the two natal charts, and certain themes in the two natal charts which are triggered by either the partner's chart or the composite chart. Further Reading The Relationship Horoscope touches upon many elements in both natal charts, but particularly focusses on those relevant to relationship patterns and themes. Having read the present horoscope, you or your partner may be interested in a broader analysis of your own personality beyond the relationship perspective. In this case we would like to recommend the
by Liz Greene (also available from us). Recommended astrological reading referring to relationship themes: "Astrology for Lovers" by Liz Greene: An amusing but profound view of the zodiacal signs regarding their characteristic behaviour in relationships. "Relating" by Liz Greene: An insightful approach to relationships which synthesises astrology and depth psychology.
Astrological Data used for Relationshop Horoscope, copy for partner
HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
Joint Composite Horoscope PLANETARY POSITIONS
HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)