Psychological Horoscope

for Julie Rimmer, born on 27 February 1979
Text by Liz Greene, Copyright © Astrodienst AG 2015
EPHE 7201.182-1, 28.8.15
CONTENTS OF THIS ANALYSIS

I. Introduction

II. Your Psychological Type

Sensitive responses to other's needs * The struggle for objectivity and self-containment * A dilemma in communication with others

III. Character and Shadow

The need to belong dominates the cast of characters * A respect for the feelings and viewpoints of others * The dread of being separate * The importance of social acceptability * The gift of genuinely liking people

A powerful urge for self-expression lies in the shadow * A strongly competitive spirit conflicts with the need of others' approval * The problem of expressing individuality and risking collective disapproval

A love of the unseen world * Hidden sensuality and materialism

IV. The Family Background

Family myths and psychological inheritance * The image of the father in a woman's chart * His psychological absence leads to sadness and confusion * The longing for a father-surrogate * High ideals, but little emotional support * Balancing head and heart * Hidden emotional inhibitions * A spur to self-sufficiency

The image of the mother in a woman's chart * Selflessness and self-sacrifice * The power of martyrdom * The dilemma of undeveloped intellectual potentials

V. Relationship Patterns

The attractions of an individualist * The challenge of self-reliance * Hidden undercurrents beneath the surface of love * A flirtatious and restless spirit interferes with stability * The pleasures of the verbal love-game

VI. Paths toward Integration

The importance of learning through relationships * Facing the environment with confidence

to top

I. INTRODUCTION

Once upon a time, in a less scientific age than ours, astrology was a respected study, based on ancient and empirically compiled principles and used by the learned for greater insight not only into the future, but into the soul. With the coming of the Age of Enlightenment, and the increase in man's knowledge of the material universe, it seemed for a time that studies such as astrology, in company with other symbolic maps of the cosmos, had become anachronisms - pieces of superstitious nonsense which reflected a more ignorant and gullible era. But surprisingly, astrology, despite its detractors, has refused to go the way of the flat earth, the conjuring of demons, and the turning of lead into gold. It is alive and well, growing in popularity, and once again meriting the respect of intelligent minds - for it has been brought into the modern era through our increasing knowledge of psychology and of the inner nature of man. Subjected to many centuries of suppression and ridicule, astrology has outproven and outlasted its opponents, and eloquently demonstrates that it has something of great value to offer the modern individual seeking self-understanding.

In this horoscope analysis we have endeavoured, using the insights of astrology and psychology combined with the tools of advanced computer technology, to offer you an astrological portrait which is uniquely and individually focussed and which aims at providing greater self-knowledge. This is not fortune-telling astrology, but rather, psychological astrology, developed to as deep and sophisticated a level as is possible within the perimeters of computer interpretation. No computer can perform the task of an experienced human astrologer. But we think you will find this analysis a surprisingly profound and subtle interpretation of the complex dynamics at work within you.

Shakespeare once wrote that all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players. In a sense, your birth horoscope is a metaphor for the individual play, complete with stage set, cast of characters, and story, which lies at the core of your life journey. It might be useful for you to remember the metaphor of the theatre as you read through the various sections of your astrological portrait, because it can help you to understand the real meaning of fate as it is reflected by astrology. Fate does not lie in your being subjected to random preordained events. It lies in the cast of characters which represent the deepest needs, conflicts and aspirations which lie within you. No person can be other than himself or herself; and every life experience, whether tiny and transient or major and transformative, reflects in some way the character of the individual.

to top

II. YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL TYPE

The rich array of individual attributes portrayed in your birth horoscope is set, as it is with everyone, against the backdrop of a certain temperament bias. We might call this bias your psychological "type", for it is a typical or characteristic way of responding to the situations life brings you. No one begins life whole or perfect, and all people have certain areas of strength - sophisticated and well-adapted inner characters - to help them deal with challenges, conflicts and problems. Likewise, all people have certain areas of weakness - inner characters who are underdeveloped, neglected and troublesome.

Your psychological type does not remain static and unchanging through the whole of your life. There is something within all of us - whether we call it the unconscious, the Self, or the soul - which strives toward balance and completeness, and which tries to integrate into our lives all those qualities or inner characters which have been neglected or undervalued. At certain important junctures in life, it is as though some central core, deeper and wiser than the conscious "I", draws us into conflicts which enable us to develop our weaker areas, so that we can become more complete as human beings. Thus you will find that, incorporated in the following paragraphs about your psychological type, are some suggestions about how you might facilitate this inner movement toward a more balanced perspective on life. Life does this for us, sooner or later. But sometimes it is more rewarding and less problematic if we cooperate with the process.

to top

Sensitive responses to other's needs

The world of human relationship means everything to you, and the feelings of others are primary on the scale of your values. Yet you are often caught in a conflict between your need for warmth and closeness with others, and your need for privacy, space and the freedom to pursue your own interests - which often involve abstract concepts quite divorced from human reality. You have great compassion for the problems of others, and may often find yourself playing the role of the good mother or father to those friends and loved ones who need an understanding shoulder to cry on. But your judgments and perceptions of others are often sharper and more critical than the responses of your heart, and you are frequently torn between empathy and irritation. Sometimes your mouth speaks before you have had a chance to temper your words with your usual tact and kindness, giving voice to an unexpressed yet powerful need to be left alone. You love to feel needed, and dislike hurting people; and you are capable of immense loyalty and devotion to those who are close to you. You also possess the rare gift of being able to put others at ease and to sense their immediate needs without having to be told. Yet you are often a stranger to yourself - sometimes kind to a fault, and sometimes critical and opinionated about the same individual. Your chief fulfillment in life springs from the feeling that you have offered something to others and are part of a larger human family in which you have a valued place. Yet there is a detached and wandering spirit within you which is attracted to those who are aloof and detached, and which chafes at the emotional responsibilities which you take on for others so willingly.

to top

The struggle for objectivity and self-containment

Perhaps you sometimes place too much emphasis on human relationship, fearing to be alone and separate, when in reality you are a complicated mixture of qualities and need at times to be able to withdraw and find your meaning and sustenance within. You tend to allow yourself to become too dependent upon a partner or friend or teacher to provide the direction and structure in your life, while at the same time stifling your own need to pursue interests which do not concern your loved ones. You are sometimes afraid of being seen as selfish, yet your definition of this word is suspect, stemming perhaps from attitudes prevalent in the family during your childhood where "selfish" meant not doing what someone else thought you should do. You need to develop more confidence in your right to your own opinions and viewpoints, trusting more in the relationships to which you have given so much love and time and care; for if you ignore your own requirements for space, freedom and honesty of expression then you will not be able to avoid resenting and envying others when they ask for such freedom themselves. Because you love harmony, you may forget that you too sometimes need conflict and distance in order to grow.

to top

A dilemma in communication with others

Another area where your conflict between feeling needs and detachment may express itself in your life is in the issue of communication of ideas. You certainly do not lack intelligence; on the contrary, you may be gifted with profound insights and ideas which are well worth expressing and which are highly original and inspired. But you tend to feel inadequate in the mental realm, believing that others are more clever than you because you require time to formulate and express your ideas. You need to be careful not to overcompensate with a kind of false intellectuality, or to cultivate an angry contempt for intellectual pursuits which is really a defense against feelings of envy and inadequacy. Pursuing studies and interests and perhaps a career which test and challenge your mind is likely to be rewarding and fulfilling for you. But to travel in this mental realm you must be prepared to travel alone - in other words, to define and express your own viewpoints. When you can risk argument and confrontation in the name of your own individual values, then you can bring a genuinely original and independent spirit into those relationships which you value so highly; and the security and warmth of the personal world which you have worked so hard to nurture can serve as a stable base for your exciting voyages into the realms of knowledge and self-expression.

to top

III. CHARACTER AND SHADOW

One of the most important insights gained by depth psychology has been the revelation that people are dual in nature, and contain a basic polarity of a conscious and an unconscious self. There is the individual you are familiar with - the "I" that thinks, feels and acts in accustomed ways which you identify as yourself. And there is another, hidden individual - the shadow-side - which contains the less acceptable and less developed aspects of your personality, and which fights for a valued place in your life at the same time that it disrupts the complacency of your self-image. The interplay between the conscious and unconscious sides of you is a constantly shifting dance, changing at different stages of your life and altering according to the pressures and challenges which you encounter. The tension between the primary characters in your inner drama, described in the following paragraphs, is the source of energy which provides your life with movement, purpose, conflict and growth. There are other characters inside you too - supporting players who blend and conflict with the main ones to make you the unique individual you are. Where these are strongly marked in your horoscope, we have included a description of them as well. The story thus portrayed, with its complicated interaction of light and shadow, represents what is really meant by individual destiny.

to top

The need to belong dominates the cast of characters

You of all people know that no man or woman is an island, for the feeling of belonging to a larger human family and finding nourishment from its support runs very deep in you. Whatever the financial or social circumstances into which you were born, you are devoid of snobbery and intolerance in your responses to others. Everyone is worthwhile to you on some level and you enjoy meeting all kinds of people in all sorts of situations - on trains and planes, in cafes and restaurants, and wherever a few exchanges of ordinary conversation convey to you the experience that you have a relationship with your fellow men and women. You instinctively know how to blend with the crowd, and pick up almost telepathically the unwritten laws of any social milieu - what is "done" and "not done", and what behaviour will interact most harmoniously to preserve the feeling of unity in the group. You are uncomfortable if you become isolated in an impersonal big city with no one to meet or telephone, or if you are stuck in the distant countryside away from others; for you are most at home where there are neighbours to say hello to, shopkeepers who recognise your face, and places where you are certain to bump into friends.

You tend to have a lot of friends - or, at least, a lot of acquaintances whom you call friends, although few of them might really have much in common with you - but you would rather have some relatively congenial company than no company at all, even if the company is not that of a soul-mate. You possess the rare art of putting people immediately at ease, for you like them and they know it; and you are generally inclined to believe the best first and be disappointed later, rather than approach others with suspicion and defensiveness. Sometimes it is hard to know just who you really are and what you really feel, so firmly have you entrenched yourself in your surroundings and adapted yourself to the prevailing attitudes and mannerisms of your circle. But ask anyone who knows you and they will undoubtedly say they like you - even if, like a good actor, you somehow manage to slip away from any real confrontation which might reveal your individuality to the outsider.

to top

A respect for the feelings and viewpoints of others

The ideas and opinions of others matter a good deal to you. Faced with a difficult decision, you are not likely to withdraw into solitude to consult the voice of your own soul; but rather, you will be found discussing the problem with at least three friends, gradually collecting a cross-section of ideas, viewpoints and perspectives. You have the humility to know that you might be wrong, and that others might see something you have missed; and this natural humility is devoid of pretense or theatrical self- effacement, but validates the importance of others to help you reach the clearest, most balanced viewpoint. Thus you usually never act on frantic impulse or in an excessive fashion, but tend to live your life with a temperate, harmonious outlook which is culled from the distilled wisdom of your many friends and colleagues. Faced with having to make an important choice that must spring solely from your own heart, and without this support from the collective, you are inclined to dither, procrastinate and wait until the problem goes away or solves itself (or the other person solves it for you).

You hate to be seen as aggressive, rude, selfish or destructive. You are extremely sensitive to the rights and needs of others, and are generally considerate, courteous, kind and willing to reason conflicts out quietly. But you have great difficulty in feeling real confidence in your own inner voice and vision, for your dependence on the good will of those around you makes you undervalue yourself. This is a pity, since your own intuitions and hunches are usually very insightful.

to top

The dread of being separate

You do not merely like other people; you actually are them much of the time. Your sensitivity to the emotional atmosphere of the group and to the unspoken needs of others is so great that you often absorb ideas, attitudes, interests and even accents, without realising where these things have come from. Thus you are a kind of walking container for the collective psyche of the circle in which you move, expressing the combined values, dreams, viewpoints and feelings of many people through your own tastes and opinions. This does not mean that you have no identity of your own, or no capacity to formulate your own ideas; but you have a deep sense of connection with others and a deep need to retain that connection, and you have no wish to rip yourself violently out of the fabric of the group in order to assert your own viewpoint and risk angry confrontation and isolation. You are flexible and tolerant enough to see the validity of many viewpoints, and therefore your absorption of others' attitudes does not feel demeaning to you or reflect any suppression of your own self. The truth of it is that your own self does not always matter that much to you - and perhaps, on occasion, it should. You are sometimes far too inclined to be forgiving and understanding even when you are taken advantage of - although you would not see it that way, because you can so easily understand the other person's viewpoint and are not unduly attached to objects or idealogies or even individual people. You can let loved ones go too, if they wish, because you never really feel isolated. Even if you are alone for a time, you have a sense of fellowship with others which takes the sting out of your loneliness. Despite this remarkable sense of connectedness and fellowship, there is a quality of sadness in you - as though this, too, has permeated you from the collective and you share the group's essential human pathos. But if you become too sad, you can always find friends to cheer you up again.

to top

The importance of social acceptability

There is a deeply conventional streak in you - not so much in terms of your ideas, which are likely to be quite progressive and humanitarian in their outlook, but in terms of your need for approval and validation from your peers. You have had painful experiences of loneliness and parental indifferences in your childhood which have in some way undermined your self-confidence, and as a result you tend to undervalue yourself and underrate your own abilities and opinions. This, combined with your naturally sociable and group-orientated nature, makes you unusually insecure unless your ideas, creative ventures, and actions are given regular reassurance by others.

You are not at all a weak personality, for there is a tough core in you which can survive quite well alone if necessary. This inner resilience springs from your having to learn to rely on yourself at an age when you badly needed parental support. But you try to make sure that it is never necessary to put your strength to the test, for it is a painful reminder of your early life. Your insecurity, which makes you rather diffident and self-effacing about your own gifts, can be an obstruction to your creative potentials, for expressing anything truly individual is by its nature a lonely venture where the ultimate validation must come from one's own inner authority. But if you can learn to take a gamble occasionally, and to stand up to the inner childhood voices which tell you that you are essentially inadequate or unimportant (not because you are, but because one or both of your parents somehow managed to make you feel that way), you can achieve a great deal in your working life, for your generous and courteous nature, and your power to attract others to you, will always guarantee you support in all your ventures.

to top

The gift of genuinely liking people

It is no mean achievement to have almost everyone you meet find you likable. But your power to attract the friendship of others springs from your deep affinity with people, and this affinity exists not merely on the superficial level of common intellectual interests or physical proximity, but on the profound level of a sense of belonging to a human family. There will come a time when life will eventually challenge you on the issue of defining your real identity and expressing your own inner values and creative potential, all those things which need to be able to stand the test of criticism and disapproval from the group in which you move. But even when such occasions arise, your essential tolerance, sympathy and interest in people ensure that you will never force your viewpoints aggressively down anyone's throat, nor cease to convey the feeling that the opinions and feelings of others are important and worthwhile to you. You are happier when blending than when you must stand up alone and expose yourself to attack or judgment; and this can sometimes be a handicap because your own gifts deserve more showing. But individual recognition means less to you than the secure and fulfilling experience of being part of the lives of others, and of discovering that, wherever in the world you go, there are people who will welcome you as a friend.

to top

A powerful urge for self-expression lies in the shadow

In contrast to your amiable and gregarious personality, there is another protagonist in your inner psychic drama. This hidden dimension of your personality contains all those qualities which you have excluded or repressed from your conscious values and behaviour in order to preserve your network of friendships and your feeling of security within your peer group. The unconscious shadow-side of you is fiercely individualistic, independent and aloof, and not in the least concerned with preserving good relations with anybody. There is a naturally aggressive, individualistic and aristocratic child within you who feels unique, special and different from everyone else - a divine child with a clearly defined destiny. It is extremely difficult for you to reconcile the natural arrogance, superiority and self- centredness of this inner figure with those socially attuned values that embed you so firmly in the collective. If you remain unconscious of this hidden aspect of yourself, it is likely to surface as a kind of angry restlessness, a sudden feeling of being alone and misunderstood and frustrated in the midst of the very people you need so much; you may also have to face the problem of envy of those who are more brazen than you and are unafraid to show off their essential differentness and independence of spirit - whether this envy is cloaked as criticism or fascination. You are a party kind of person in both senses of the word - inclined to like jovial social gatherings, and also inclined to join a group which espouses a particular political and social philosophy. Your shadow-side is apolitical, antisocial, self-willed and doesn't think much of the mob at all. Integrating some of these vivid, intensely independent qualities can offer your personality greater strength, courage and the capacity to take risks with your creative talents.

to top

A strongly competitive spirit conflicts with the need of others' approval

Your shadow-side is fiercely competitive, in complete contrast to the conscious belief in equality and sharing which forms part of your highly sensitive social responses. This hidden side of you is irritable, impatient and angry, and resents having to compromise with anyone or accommodate anyone else's ideas or values. Although you are a highly skilled and valuable contributor to any committee or organisation in which the group needs to run efficiently and arrive at a reasonable collective decision, your shadow-side has no patience at all with such interminably boring situations. It knows best, and wants the freedom to run the show according to its own inspiration. There is considerable unconscious aggression and self-will in this hidden side of you, and such qualities are extremely uncomfortable in the face of the importance which you normally give others. Also, you are rather idealistic about how people "should" be, always motivated by a vision of collective rather than individual happiness and fulfillment; but the shadow dimension of your personality does not espouse these ideals, being concerned solely for its own satisfaction. Aggressive, self-centred and arrogant, your shadow-side may at times seem wholly negative and offensive to you; but at the root of this very fiery and impetuous figure lies the seed of a genuinely self-confident individual who can express individuality without fear. You need to integrate some of these qualities into your life, for you are sometimes too dependent on the group and its support; and on a deep level this dependency means that you have not really grown up, for the group is like an omnipresent parent who will look after and nurture you and protect you from the challenges of life. In that side of you which you find most unlikable lies your potential as an effective and creative individual personality.

to top

The problem of expressing individuality and risking collective disapproval

Thus the dark and hidden side of your companionable personality is a complicated one, for it is not simply a rebel. Rebels are no less in thrall to a presiding set of collective values than those who slavishly adopt these values, since the deciding factor is ultimately the values and not the individual. The shadow-side of you is like a rough diamond, a fierce and burning force, to which nothing is as important as your own development and your own achievement, and to which the approval of the mass means nothing at all. The apparently negative qualities inherent in this hidden side of you - the arrogance, wilfulness, coldness, ruthlessness and autocratic behaviour - are, turned around and viewed through a different lens, self-confidence, strength of will, self-reliance, courage and loyalty to one's own soul. Repressed and relegated to the netherworld of the unconscious, this shadow-side will peep out from behind your equable exterior, revealing a more dictatorial and arrogant personality than you wish others to see; and it will draw you compulsively into entanglements where you are thrown back on your own resources. Integrated into your conscious life, it can offer you vision, courage, and the opportunity to create something truly original with your gifts.

to top

Another pair of important characters

The characters described so far represent in their fundamental antagonism the main theme of your inner story. Besides these figures, there is another pair of conflicting figures indicated in your birth chart which are likely to be recognisable in your life. These figures are briefly described in the following paragraphs.

to top

A love of the unseen world

Although you appear to live on the earth like other people, your mind dwells in loftier, more ethereal realms. You are a sensitive and idealistic person who is not wholly comfortable within the limits and boundaries of material life; for, like Plato, you crave the Good, the True and the Beautiful - and if you are unable to find glimpses of your dream amidst the mundane circumstances in which you find yourself, through love or creative endeavours or study, you are capable of becoming depressed or even ill. There must be Something More, you tell yourself, because you are quite unable to live with and accept the harsher aspects of reality. It is as though you are missing some layer of skin that other people seem to have; and consequently, life bruises you easily. Because you believe so wholeheartedly in a transcendent reality, you usually manage to get intimations of it, however brief, that renew your faith sufficiently for you to cope.

This elusive, ethereal and other-worldly quality is the source of many of your apparently unpredictable and unstable experiences. It is appropriate for you to seek a lifestyle and a vocation which can enhance and validate, rather than crush, your idealism and faith. All the products of the imagination are meaningful to you, more so than the domain of physical objects which matter so much to others. Spiritual values and ideals are a necessity to you, but you will need the courage to challenge more conventional religious formulae and to trust your inner experiences. It is not a moral code you seek, or a dogmatic interpretation of the divine; but rather, a direct experience of a transpersonal reality which can offer you hope, comfort, and the validation of your dream of beauty, goodness and truth in life. Otherwise life will hurt you, for without such values to provide your base you are too thin-skinned and lack the toughness to digest some of life's more brutal offerings. Then, disillusioned and lost, you run the risk of turning other people - particularly partners - into semi-divine protectors and carriers of that spiritual reassurance you crave; and others will, when placed in such an impossible situation, inevitably let you down - for what you seek is inside you. Life will eventually challenge you on the issue of your adaptation to the material world, for higher insight is not worth very much if it cannot be lived in the context of the actual world.

to top

Hidden sensuality and materialism

In contrast to the bright light of your mystical aspiration, there is dark figure in your inner psychic drama. This hidden dimension of your personality contains all that you have excluded from your conscious values and behaviour in order to pursue your higher ideals; it encompasses the domain of your body, your sensual nature and the repressed materialism which you prefer not to acknowledge. This shadow-side can be an inner enemy if you deny it value, working against you through difficulties with health, money and mundane circumstances. This inner enemy, because you turn your back on it within yourself, may appear to belong to others in the world outside - individuals who make life hard for you because of their physical demands, their lack of appreciation for finer values, and their coarseness or brutality, emotional or physical. What a person cannot deal with in himself or herself inevitably is attracted from the environment.

It would be in accord with your spiritual ideals to believe that the darker, rougher and more sensual components of your personality could be transcended through personal effort. Certainly many esoteric doctrines suggest that, with work, we can all rise above our baser natures and experience a purer state of being. No intention is meant here to discourage you from trying; for without ideals such as yours, we would all still live in caves, clubbing each other to death. But from a psychological perspective, this shadow-side of your personality - that character in your inner drama who stands in opposition to your refinement, your lofty idealism, and your aspiration toward a more transpersonal dimension of life - is as valuable and important to your evolution as your conscious beliefs; creatively handled this character can give you substance, vitality and a capacity to be genuinely, rather than hypocritically, loving. Trying to exclude the realm of instinct because it is "lower" can only result in the unconscious rising up in rebellion against you.

to top

IV. THE FAMILY BACKGROUND

to top

Family myths and psychological inheritance

Although you are an individual, you have emerged from a family background. A family is like a living organism, and it includes certain hereditary characteristics which have passed down through the generations. It also contains a particular set of psychological dynamics, an emotional climate which provides the first soil in which your nascent individuality took root in childhood. Thus you contain certain inner patterns, myths and attitudes toward life which you have acquired from the psychological soil of your family background. In other words, to return to our metaphor of the theatre, the characters in your inner drama are unique; but they carry a family inheritance.

Astrology cannot tell us about physical heredity. But it can tell us a great deal about psychological heredity, which runs through families in the same way that red hair or blue eyes do. Psychological inheritance of deeply rooted attitudes often takes place on hidden, unconscious levels of which individual family members are unaware. Family myths move down the generations as surely as a distinctive facial structure does. An example of a family myth might be: "All the men in this family have been self- made and successful." Or, "All the women in this family have been disappointed by their men." Myths such as these do not need to be spoken, or even recognised, for they pass from one generation to the next via the unconscious, and they are communicated in a multitude of subtle, nonverbal ways. Thus the male child born into the family of "successful" men will inherit a particular set of expectations to which he will respond according to his own nature and his own inner characters. And the female child born into the family of "disappointed women" will inherit certain attitudes about relationships which will affect her later in life if she remains unaware of this inner script.

Because your family background is an integral part of your life story, it is reflected in your birth horoscope. Astrology can offer considerable helpful insight into this realm of life, for according to how conscious you are of the interplay between your own nature and your family inheritance, you will have more or less freedom of choice in life. Your parents themselves are also reflected in your horoscope, although they appear not as real three-dimensional people, but rather as images who embody a particular theme or set of attitudes. These parental images reflect how mother and father appear to you personally, how they operate as patterns within your own psyche, and how they support or conflict with the unfoldment of your own inner drama. The power of the family background should never be underestimated, for it is not the past. It is a living present within each of us. As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote: "Never believe fate is more than the condensation of childhood."

to top

The image of the father in a woman's chart

Father is not only a real person. He is the symbol of an inner pattern or perspective through which you relate to life. The image of the father portrayed in your birth horoscope therefore describes three things.
Firstly, it is a subjective picture of the qualities you experienced as most dominant in your relationship with your father - or whoever played the role of father in your early life.
Secondly, it is a symbol of what the masculine represents to you, for your father was the first man in your life. He is therefore a powerful unconscious influence not only on what you seek in male partners and on how you relate to men in general, but also on how you express the masculine or goal- orientated side of your own personality.
Thirdly, it is a picture of your own inner father-qualities: how you order and structure your life, how you envisage and pursue your goals, how you express and direct your will, and how you formulate your ethical codes and ideals.

to top

His psychological absence leads to sadness and confusion

The subjective image of your father which is portrayed in your birth horoscope is a mysterious and complex one. You did not know your father as a solid and supportive personality - either because he was physically absent, or because you experienced his personality as too withdrawn, weak, aloof or unhappy to allow you much access to his true feelings and character. In a sense, you have had to sacrifice a genuine close relationship with your father, and there lies somewhere within you a sad longing for what you feel you did not have, coupled with a strong tendency to idealise the psychologically absent parent into a mystical figure and justify his inaccessibility by blaming yourself. Thus there is likely to be much confusion within you about your own worth because of your early relationship with your father, and you tend in adult life to look secretly to others as the arbiters of your sense of self-value.

to top

The longing for a father-surrogate

Because your experience of your father has been a poignant and disappointing one, there are many qualities which you have had to acquire through your own experience in life. Most importantly, your early sacrifice means that you will need to learn how to father yourself - to find inner resources which provide the necessary ambition, will and determination to actualise your potentials and accomplish something worthwhile with your talents. Because you did not experience a strong and solid model of the masculine principle in early life, you perpetually struggle against the tendency to drift along hoping that someone or something - perhaps a father-surrogate of some kind - will descend from the vault of heaven and provide you with the impetus and strength to achieve your goals. Such father-surrogates have inevitably proved disappointing to you, for your father-image offers you a challenge which you must meet with your own resources. In grappling with this problem, you will find that you can willingly relinquish your deep-seated melancholy and disappointment, and can begin to see your father as a sensitive and fallible human being rather than a semi-divine figure who has on some level abandoned you.

Then the more creative dimension of this father-image can come into play within you, for your early experience of your father can open many doors to balance your sense of disappointment. The longing which your physically or emotionally absent father has inspired in you is really your own yearning for a set of spiritual values by which you can live. Behind the idealised image of your personal father stands the divine father. Thus your sacrifice is a creative one according to the deeper meaning of the word - to "make sacred" - for through your mysteriously inaccessible father you have inherited a profound sensitivity to the transpersonal world, and may find as your life progresses that the father you are seeking is really available after all - in the vitality and boundlessness of your own imaginative and spiritual life.

In addition to this dominant image, there is another figure portrayed by your birth horoscope which adds further complexity to your experience of your father.

to top

High ideals, but little emotional support

Your father represented a quality of aloofness or detachment for you, which is highly creative on one level, and quite difficult on another. From him you have inherited a deep appreciation of the world of the mind, and a detached perspective on life which gives vision and breadth to your thinking. But you and your father were alienated - either because he was physically absent, or because he could not relate through ordinary demonstration of affection. He may have emphasised your education and mental development while at the same time subtly or overtly rejecting your feeling and instinctual needs - and you may have interpreted this rejection as your own failing and now, as an adult, strive toward too high an ideal of perfection while unnecessarily devaluing your more human needs.

to top

Balancing head and heart

You can express your lofty standards and love of independence and clear thinking in a creative way, while still retaining a sense of self-worth in your emotional dealings with others. The heart is as valuable as the intellect, although the message you received from your father is that it is not; and you need to be careful not to become too rigid in your definition of what you think human beings, including yourself, ought to be. The power of this cool and lofty father-image within you is very great in both positive and negative ways, and you will need to stand firmly on the ground of your own human worth while exploring the clear heights of the mind and the spirit, which are your inheritance.

There is still another image portrayed by your birth horoscope, which in certain ways conflicts with your dominant experience of your father.

to top

Hidden emotional inhibitions

Your relationship with your father was more of a disappointment to you than you may wish to acknowledge, for on some level you have experienced deep hurt and rejection through him. This may be because he was too engrossed in his work, or physically separated from you; or he may have been an inhibited and undemonstrative man, offering conditional love and demanding conventional behaviour. It is likely that you are not wholly conscious of this hurt, but the repercussions of it no doubt show in your present life - through difficulties with authority figures and traditional institutions which embody father-symbols, and through a constant searching for someone or something which will provide you with the emotional security you did not obtain in childhood. You may also recreate the pattern of early rejection in your relationships, because on some level you yourself are withholding love out of fear of being hurt, although you may believe it is your partner who is rejecting you.

to top

A spur to self-sufficiency

Despite this apparently negative experience you have had of your father, your early disappointment can foster in you a deep self- reliance and capacity to face aloneness in life. If you can bring your real feelings about your father to the surface, you can separate these feelings not only from the actual man - who probably had the same problem as you, and withheld love out of a fear of rejection - but also from the figures upon whom you project your father-image in the world outside. The rare and genuine inner self-sufficiency that life has called on you to develop is an important dimension of your personality, and it can co-exist happily with warm and loving relationships; but you are faced with a challenge of balance which your father himself in some way failed to meet, and you will need to understand the limitations of human love before you can find the most creative expression of this complex facet of your own personality.

to top

The image of the mother in a woman's chart

Mother, like father, is not only a person. She is also the symbol of an essential principle in life, and of an inner dynamic or perspective through which we relate to life. The image of the mother which is portrayed in your birth horoscope therefore describes three things. Firstly, it is a subjective description of the qualities most dominant in your relationship with your mother. Many of these will be known to you, but some might be surprising, because they reflect not only her outer behaviour, but her inner life - that side of her which was unexpressed and therefore of great power in terms of its effects on you. Secondly, the mother-image in your horoscope is a portrait of what the feminine represents to you - how you relate to yourself as a woman, and how you experience other women. Thirdly, it is a picture of your own "maternal" qualities - your capacity to nurture and care for yourself and others, your sense of safety and trust in life's essential kindness, and your ability to flow with time and circumstances and to know instinctively when to wait and accept with wisdom the situations which life brings.

to top

Selflessness and self-sacrifice

The subjective image of your mother portrayed in your birth horoscope is a poignant one. There is much of the mythic or archetypal Suffering Woman contained in this image, and probably your mother experienced many difficult circumstances in her life - either in her own childhood or in her marriage, or through illness or financial difficulty, or through the necessity of sacrificing her most cherished desires in order to look after others. Although your mother may have made sacrifices willingly because of her love and need of her family, nevertheless you have within you considerable guilt about her unhappiness, and a deep unconscious conviction that you are in some way responsible for redeeming her sacrifices through your own self-sacrifice. This places a great inner obligation on you, which you may carry without realising it, yet which has probably led you to choose a field of work where you have to deal with and help the pain or confusion of others. The experience of passive suffering and sacrifice which you have inherited through your relationship with your mother gives you a deep well of compassion, sensitivity and responsiveness to the emotional needs of others. This receptivity is a gift, which can be expressed either in an artistic field where sensitivity to the moods of the audience is required, or in the helping professions where it is so obviously needed.

to top

The power of martyrdom

But the experience of sadness and disillusioned dreams embodied by your mother needs to be understood clearly, for otherwise your sense of guilt may lead you to lose a sense of your own boundaries and personal rights. You may allow others to take constant advantage of your ready sympathy, and forget that you too need nurturing. Perhaps you need to be stronger in affirming your right to be selfish, and more realistic in seeing that there is a certain manipulative dimension to the person who is consistently a passive victim of life and a certain manipulative dimension to your mother.

You may also fear deep commitment in relationship because of the threat of being drained, used up, and forced to sacrifice your own needs and potentials on behalf of another; for within you the image of your mother represents the price paid for too great dependency on others. But although you may sometimes appear independent and even hard, inwardly you are vulnerable and responsive and need the love of others just as your mother did.

The unique sensitivity and compassion which accompany this mother- image within you are rare gifts, but you will need to learn to express them while at the same time retaining a firm and realistic commitment to your own limits and boundaries. You know a great deal about pain, sacrifice, and helplessness, and also a great deal about manipulation through emotional blackmail - the darker face of this mother-image inside you. This profound instinctual wisdom is your inheritance, and if you can learn the delicate distinction between compassionate response to others and a kind of guilty bowing to emotional blackmail, then you will on the most profound level have truly redeemed whatever sacrifices your mother had to make - by being a whole person yourself, and a model to others of the fact that love and self-immolation do not necessarily go together.

There is still another image portrayed by your birth horoscope, which in certain ways conflicts with the experience of your mother described previously.

to top

The dilemma of undeveloped intellectual potentials

Your mother seems to have possessed some very marked intellectual abilities; and even if she was not fortunate enough to have found the educational or professional opportunities to utilise her gifts, she was undoubtedly innately clever, versatile and articulate. It is likely that she was really the more intelligent of your parents, although your father may have possessed the academic qualifications and it may have been more important to her to express other sides of her nature. From her you inherit an appreciation of the gifts of the mind and an innate ability to develop your own intellectual gifts in various fields in life.

However, it is also likely that, if your mother's innate cleverness and inquisitiveness were not fully developed or expressed in a suitable career, she was bored and frustrated much of the time, and you may have been subjected to her critical tongue to the extent that you learned to fear it and are still, in adult life, highly sensitive to the criticism of others. Whatever your conscious perception might be of your mother, it may be important for you to recognise the power of her mind and the consequences for her and, in turn, for you if her innate abilities were denied or unlived. You possess the inherited gift of a quick and lively mind, and this gift of yours needs, and deserves, to be expressed through some profession which challenges your intellect and allows you full scope for your powers of expression.

to top

V. RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

Relationships are among the most mysterious, rewarding and frustrating of all human experiences. Both astrology and psychology teach us that nothing that occurs within a relationship is chance - neither its beginning, nor its fluctuations and conflicts, nor its ending. But astrology cannot say whether you are "fated" to have a good or a bad marriage, or whether you ought to be with a Cancer or a Sagittarius. Your birth horoscope describes what you are like inside, and therefore what kind of patterns, needs and compulsions you are likely to bring into your relationships with others. You cannot become somebody different, or send in your birth horoscope and request a new set of character. But you can be more or less conscious; and you always have the freedom to look at your own issues, to deal with needs which are your responsibility and not your partner's, and to respond to both joy and pain in creative ways.

The following paragraphs describe your attitudes, needs, and typical patterns in close relationships. This description is written about you in terms of your dealings with the man in your life. However, if you are involved in a close relationship with someone of your own sex, you will find that the same attitudes, needs and patterns still apply. Whatever your sexual tastes, you are yourself - and it is your inner nature which ultimately dictates the course of your love-life.

to top

The attractions of an individualist

You are a naturally gregarious person, eager to blend with and belong to a larger human family; but you are intrigued by those men who can express their own individual vision with apparent confidence and a brazen disregard for public opinion. Such a relationship can be very good for you, since your understanding and need of people can help to provide a bridge for the deep loneliness of an eccentric and original spirit; and he in turn has much to offer you as an example of courage and the fact that one can sometimes do as one pleases and not be struck down by a lightning bolt from heaven. But you need to be careful not to disown your own special gifts, by projecting all your potential creativity and originality onto your partner. Beware of going about claiming that he is the talented or brilliant one while you are merely his helpmate. You need to learn from him how to be an individual yourself, rather than trying to live through him.

to top

The challenge of self-reliance

If you cannot face life's challenge to give voice to your own independent ideas and vision, then you may become dangerously dependent on your man, demanding that he provide you with life's meaning. That is not his responsibility; it is yours. And you may become badly hurt if you burden him too much with what is essentially your task. Your gifts may not be as flamboyant as your partner's, but they are gifts nonetheless - for your effortless sharing of yourself with others is a talent as much as the skills of an artist or writer are. Try to remain an equal partner in your relationships, rather than transforming yourself into a servant or a nursemaid for some tormented artist in a garret. Such roles do not suit you.

to top

Hidden undercurrents beneath the surface of love

Things seem to happen to you in your personal life over which you appear to have no control, and which cause you deep unhappiness or frustration. Whether you have experienced loss or separation that has been forced upon you, or tend to become involved with men who are far more difficult and complicated than you expect, it is important that you understand the complex nature of your own needs in love; for you sometimes have an overly naive or simplistic view of relationship. Something in you craves an experience of depth and transformation through love which is not generally included in conventional definitions of the subject; and in spite of yourself you are fascinated by deep men who have had to struggle in life and who will challenge you and force you into exploring the hidden undercurrents that are at work beneath the surface of any partnership. In short, you need to become more aware of the unconscious dimension of love, which is the stuff of Russian novels and Greek tragedy, and is full of darker and more primitive emotions such as hatred, possession, envy and the desire to have power over the loved one. These more primitive facets of the human heart are not pathological; but they are certainly not part of the fairy-tale model of living happily ever after, nor part of any high-minded sociological vision which does not take the bestial dimension of human passions into account. You have great depth to your feelings, and your love is not always nice, kind, conventional or altruistic. If you cannot face and express some of these rich facets of yourself, you may unconsciously choose men who act them out for you - and who wind up causing you pain. Try to be more subtle and sophisticated both in your definitions of love and in the kind of relationships you create in your life. You will not find a model for the sort of partnership you need in a ladies' magazine or a political tract.

to top

A flirtatious and restless spirit interferes with stability

There is some conflict around the issue of what you need in a close relationship, and this conflict is liable to cause you some problems unless you understand it. You are ordinarily rather serious and realistic in love, disliking the more abandoned, irresponsible and promiscuous aspects of it; for you place considerable value on deep and honest emotional exchange and are also rather mistrustful of the instant love-at-first-sight impulse which you know from experience can be deeply disappointing at second sight. But there is an element in you which is quite wild and carefree; and this adventurous, flirtatious and highly restless spirit can be a great nuisance in an established relationship, since it firmly believes that variety is the spice of life. You are more likely to project it - which means that you tend to be drawn toward people who embody it, and who are therefore exciting, magnetic, very difficult to pin down, and inclined to play the field. The dominant theme of this profligate quality is that more is better, and that love ought to be fun rather than a serious business with mortgages, responsibilities and in-laws over for Sunday night dinner.

Thus you need more than a deep commitment in love; you also need a little adventure, and should perhaps be careful not to tie yourself down too soon or too rigidly before you have had a chance to explore life. This may be difficult if you are already in a marriage or permanent relationship. But there are ways of making an established partnership an adventure as well - for example, by making sure that you create plenty of time and opportunity for travelling with your partner and incorporating hobbies and interests which are not always focussed on family and domestic life. For if you stifle the romantic adventurer inside you, your partner will very likely act it out for you, which is liable to hurt; or you yourself will suddenly find that you have become entangled in an intensely romantic attachment at a time in life when you least want or expect it. Try not to be so serious all the time. The amoral spirit of flirtation and adventure does not always destroy more stable partnerships. There are many levels on which it can be lived, and some of them do not require deceit and betrayal.

to top

The pleasures of the verbal love-game

Intelligence and a capacity to share your thoughts are qualities you value highly in a partner if you are to build a long-term relationship with any man. No matter how attractive, charming, socially suitable or erotically exciting a lover is, in the end you tend to become bored if you cannot talk to him. And when you become bored, you become critical and even nitpicking, finding fault everywhere and making your dissatisfaction known through chronic flirtations with other people which tell your partner loudly and clearly that you are suffocating. There is a touch of the intellectual snob about you, but it is not mere posturing; you are a clever and sophisticated person with strong aesthetic sensitivities, and you genuinely love the world of the mind. Your partner must be able to share in that world, and nothing less will do. You also like to use words a lot, to talk, philosophise and theorise about love; and you may have difficulties with a more taciturn or dour type of man who cannot play with romantic words and gestures as you can. In part, you love this kind of verbal love-game for its own sake, because it is stylish and graceful and makes love interesting; and in part you do it because you tend to protect your feelings with your intellect so that you are less vulnerable. There is a rather cool and detached side to your love-nature which, however initially smitten you might be, quickly assesses the intelligence of your man and gives a rating. And you expect your partner to have the same capacity for detachment and reason, for you dislike steamy emotional scenes and rapidly become evasive, aloof and disinterested if your man starts becoming what you call irrational. You need and deserve an intellectual match. What you can afford a little less of is your critical tongue, which can reduce anyone to ribbons - and often when he has done nothing to merit it except express needs which you construe as voiced in an inappropriate way. After all, not even the most intelligent partner - not to mention you yourself - can be clever and articulate all the time.

to top

VI. PATHS TOWARD INTEGRATION

As you have seen from the preceding pages, your birth horoscope offers a detailed and in-depth portrait of many aspects of your life. It is also possible to step further back from the horoscope, and to use the faculties of a telescope rather than a microscope - so that an overview of the play comes into focus. The following provide also some suggestions of ways in which conscious effort might make it possible for you to achieve greater harmony between the different components within yourself, and to strengthen that centre of the personality which psychology calls the ego, the "I". Free will may not include the possibility of becoming somebody else. But it might include the ability to stand firmly at the centre of your horoscope and feel related to the different aspects of your psyche, rather than wandering about blindly, feeling impotent and victimised by conflicting cross- currents and impulses from within yourself and from the world outside. Two people may have certain astrological configurations which are similar, but one might be buffeted by his or her inner demons like a rudderless small boat tossed on a difficult sea; while the other individual remains somehow solid and real as a person and can therefore navigate the boat intelligently through the ocean's changing currents.

to top

The importance of learning through relationships

You will never find fulfillment by shutting others out, for your path in life will always take you into important relationships where you have the opportunity to learn about yourself through the mirror of another. However great your emotional or material self- sufficiency, your need of others - and theirs of you - is the pivot around which the whole of your sense of meaning circles. It might be appropriate for you to seek a vocation in which you can work with others - perhaps in one of the helping professions, or in a creative field such as the theatre where your relationship with the audience demands that you constantly grow and develop sensitivity to others.

Your genuine interest in people and their welfare, and your deep appreciation of the worth and potential of the human spirit, provide a strong support to help you find appropriate channels for your need of others. You might be particularly suited to those fields of work where direct and deep contact with other people - for example, in the fields of counselling, education, psychotherapy or teaching - would involve you every day in the mysteries and challenges of human relationship.

Your close friendships, love relationships or marriage are also going to prove deeply important - not only from the perspective of personal happiness, but because it seems that you need the catalyst of another to truly develop your own potentials. In fact the entire spectrum of human relationship is the landscape which you are meant to explore - and the more you develop your contacts with others, personally and professionally, the happier and more fulfilled you are likely to be.

to top

Facing the environment with confidence

There is one area of life where any effort you make to face your fears and meet the challenge of expressing your own individuality will always result in increased strength and self-respect - even if you are not always successful. You have a deep sense of awkwardness and even inferiority whenever you are called upon to express your real feelings, ideas and nature - and because of this uncomfortable shyness you have acquired various masks and defenses which, although they might be detectable by many people, nevertheless prevent anyone from really coming close to you. Somehow you do not expect the world to respond to you, for you experience it as a hostile place full of people who will not appreciate you or let you have what you want. But you will never be satisfied hiding behind a facade, for you long to be seen and heard and valued as you are. You also lack confidence in yourself physically, and here too any effort to develop and give value to your body will result in greater self-confidence. You could, of course, simply go on hiding; for no one is going to force you to come out. But your own frustration might accomplish what life does not. You have plenty of courage and strength, for it takes courage and strength to build and sustain such strong defenses. Yet if you can apply this courage to the task of letting yourself be vulnerable - by taking the risk of being uninhibitedly and unashamedly yourself - you may find that in fact your personality is a potent and effective force. For you will have learned the hard way to be loyal to yourself.

Thus one of your chief fears - of unashamedly expressing your own individuality - can become an indestructible foundation which provides you with the confidence to relate to others in a truly honest way. For by facing your own inhibitions and guilt about selfishness and differentness, you will find that you can enter any relationship - personal or professional - with faith in yourself and therefore with genuine openness to the other. If you can be yourself, then you need never fear being overwhelmed by another person. And in healing your own wound, you will develop the skills to offer the same healing to others.


Astrological Data used for Psychological Horoscope
for Julie Rimmer (female)
birthdate: 27 February 1979 local time: 5:25 pm
place: Liverpool, ENG (UK) U.T.: 17:25
2w55, 53n25 sid. time: 03:41:08

PLANETARY POSITIONS
planet sign degree motion
Sun Pisces 8°31'29 in house 7 direct
Moon Pisces 22°54'46 in house 7 direct
Mercury Pisces 23°27'21 in house 7 direct
Venus Capricorn 25°21'19 in house 5 direct
Mars Aquarius 29°54'05 in house 6 direct
Jupiter Leo 0°06'00 in house 11 retrograde
Saturn Virgo 10°42'25 in house 1 retrograde
Uranus Scorpio 20°59'48 in house 3 stationary (R)
Neptune Sagittarius 20°20'32 in house 4 direct
Pluto Libra 18°50'43 in house 2 retrograde
Moon's Node Virgo 18°10'08 in house 1 retrograde

HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
Ascendant Virgo 6°10'48
2nd House Virgo 26°17'59
3rd House Libra 22°55'56
Imum Coeli Scorpio 27°33'20
5th House Capricorn 6°30'42
6th House Aquarius 9°53'35
Descendant Pisces 6°10'48
8th House Pisces 26°17'59
9th House Aries 22°55'56
Medium Coeli Taurus 27°33'20
11th House Cancer 6°30'42
12th House Leo 9°53'35

MAJOR ASPECTS
Sun Conjunction Mars 8°37
Sun Opposition Saturn 2°10
Sun Opposition Moon's Node 9°38
Moon Conjunction Mercury 0°33
Moon Sextile Venus 2°26
Moon Trine Jupiter 7°11
Moon Trine Uranus 1°55
Moon Square Neptune 2°34
Moon Opposition Moon's Node 4°44
Mercury Sextile Venus 1°53
Mercury Trine Jupiter 6°39
Mercury Trine Uranus 2°28
Mercury Square Neptune 3°07
Mercury Opposition Moon's Node 5°16
Venus Opposition Jupiter 4°44
Venus Sextile Uranus 4°22
Venus Square Pluto 6°31
Venus Trine Moon's Node 7°11
Mars Square Uranus 8°54
Jupiter Trine Uranus 9°05
Saturn Square Neptune 9°38
Saturn Conjunction Moon's Node 7°28
Uranus Sextile Moon's Node 2°50
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°30
Neptune Square Moon's Node 2°10
Sun Opposition Ascendant 2°20
Mars Opposition Ascendant 6°16
Saturn Conjunction Ascendant 4°32
Uranus Opposition Medium Coeli 6°33
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).